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Doing Life Together

Last week, we heard about a co-pilot purposely taking down a plane with 150 people on board. In a moment, lives were lost. One moment, a passenger was laughing with a fellow travel and the next, he was diving straight into the side of a mountain. Another was cuddling her child, then screams brought recognition of impending…

Last Sunday was Palm Sunday, a glorious day in the church. We celebrated Jesus’ triumphal entry into Jerusalem on a donkey. I learned that the donkey was symbolic of a king coming in peaceful power. A King who goes to war would have ridden in on a warhorse. A King who comes in peace rides a donkey. Jesus…

                If you’ve taken the FREE quiz on my website, drlindahelps.com, you know your conflict style–avoider, reactor or negotiator. Now the issue is, does your style match with those with whom you are intimate? What happens when there is a mismatch of styles, e.g., you avoid and the…

In the same way a drug addict uses cocaine or an alcoholic downs booze, work can have an anesthetizing effect on negative emotions. People use work to escape and avoid unpleasant emotional states. But because hard work is so sanctioned in our society, it is an addiction often minimized. Our once sacred days of rest…

Because worry is in the mind, it is a mental habit that must be broken. Here are a few practical tips to help break the worry habit: Identify the thought behind the worried or anxious feeling. Let it come and don’t try to suppress it with thoughts like, “Stop worrying” “Don’t do this,” etc. The…

You’ve heard the saying, trust is easy to break, hard to repair. How do you go about building trust with someone you’ve hurt! The key is to know the other person’s world and reliably respond to it. Do what you say. Keep your promises. Empathize with the other person’s issue and try to see the…

I was in the grocery store yesterday, and the tabloids were headlining the secret love child of yet another celebrity couple. Even though we tend to expect this sort of thing from celebrity relationships, secrets are a problem. They don’t usually end well. I am often asked if it is a good idea to reveal…

We all develop an insecure or secure bond with our original families. That bond is referred to as an attachment style. The more secure the bond, the better you will deal with conflict. Two bonding styles make conflict difficult–anxious and avoidant. To feel more secure you want to lower your anxiety and stop avoiding. So take…

When Janet’s dad died suddenly, she was able to talk to friends and get though the tragic loss. Her husband, Jack, didn’t fare as well. Being male, he felt he had to be strong for Janet. Yet, Janet’s dad was the dad Jack never knew. The loss hit him hard. When Jack felt the loss, he…

Families are busy and when there is a little down time, kids usually grab their screens and engage in solo play. If they are on social media, they may have a number of “friends” but these are not deep friendships and may even interfere with developing solid social skills. We know that having a best…
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