Doing Life Together

A patient tells me she can’t sleep. He husband snores and it keeps her awake almost every night. If she falls asleep before he does, she doesn’t always wake up. But even then, his snoring can be so loud, she wakes up. Clearly, she needs her sleep. And he needs to see a sleep specialist!…

I am always surprised when a couple tells me they haven’t had sex in a year. This is not normal or healthy for any married relationship. However, there are times when sex is put on the back burner. This is often due to an underlying issue with one or both partners. Here are 10 reasons…

Someone deeply hurt you. You have all this pent up anger. What are you going to do with it? Forgive? No, because you don’t feel like it. You don’t want to. “Didn’t you hear me? I was deeply hurt and offended by the injustice done to me.” Our culture will tell you to seek revenge.…

Happy 4th of July! As this holiday weekend approaches,  I remain thankful for our freedom. But I was thinking about how divided we are as a country. People cannot even hold different points of view without being verbally attacked. Ideology has replaced decency and respect, escalating divisions and anger. I remember a sermon my brother,…

When the Spice Girls sang, “Tell me what you want, what you really really want,” no one was thinking this was a reference to emotional intelligence. Yet, being able to clearly articulate what you want is an important relationship skill. In fact, it is a sign of emotional intelligence. If you can clearly communicate what…

I do not like discussing politics. Never have and really dislike it these days. It has become so divisive. If you say anything someone doesn’t like, you get cancelled. Fear has taken over. And it pushes people to not only be fearful, but anxious. Political fear tells us to fear “the other.” Those who don’t…

Every day, I hear about another couple who has decided to call it quits. Their reasons vary but are most related to lost love and incompatibility. So, I am not talking about abuse, neglect and abandonment. Many of these couples have struggled to get along for years. Few of them ever get professional help. Most…

This week on my radio show we honor dads. No matter what the culture tells you, dads play an important role in the healthy development of children. Too often the role of fathers is minimized or substituted. So let’s look at how important fathers are and the many lessons we learn from them. First, when…

Anger is rampant in our culture. And it doesn’t seem like it takes much to be on the receiving end of an angry tweet, text or call. People get triggered easily and often. Anger is an intense emotion that when not controlled, leads people to yell, curse and say or do things they may regret.…

A friend was telling me she recently had a difficult conversation. As she prepared to respond, she determined to approach this conflict rationally and calmly. But the minute he questioned her competence, she lost it. Her rational approach went out the window and she became incensed.  Thinking stopped as she became defensive. At the end…

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