Tess often met her husband Bill in dreams in the three years after he died. In these dreams, she kept telling him, “You’re dead” but he paid no attention. Sometimes they met in the house they shared. Often she visited with him in other places, notably Hawaii.

Before his death, he often talked about how he would love to take a vacation in Hawaii. Tess had been to the islands on her own but refused to let him go, or to plan a vacation together, because money was tight.

In one dream, Tess told her husband, You’re dead because I’ve spent all your insurance money.”

Tess asked me whether I thought her husband was stuck on the Other Side. “I wish I didn’t have to keep telling him he’s dead.”

As we explored the dream, I had no sense that Bill was stuck. He was getting around, seeing the sights, having a good time. I noted that the word “Hawaii” is a contraction of “Hawaiiki”, the Polynesian name for the happy place of the ancestors, the desirable afterlife – which may be one reason why many Westerners have “South Pacfic” fantasies about where to go at checkout time.

I told Tess that our dead are almost always alive in our dreams.

“If I were your husband on the Other Side, and you kept telling me I am dead, I wouldn’t take you seriously either. You think I’m dead but I know I’m alive. I may not have a physical body any more, but my spirit is alive and in traveling mood.”

After discussion, Tess agreed she would sit down and talk with her husband. She would make a little ceremony, using a photograph and a personal object, putting out things he liked to eat and drink.  I asked what she most needed to say to Bill now. She came up with this venturesome statement: “I’d like to go to some of the places you can go.”

As we parted company, Tess revealed that there was something beside the dreams that had prompted her to seek counsel. A few days before, after driving home, she noticed a shape in the rocker on her front porch. As she walked towards the house, a huge owl lifted off the chair and flew right at her.

Communication with our departed is entirely natural, especially in dreams, which are a nightly meeting place for the living and the dead. Our dead come visiting for all sorts of reasons. Sometimes they need help from us because they are stuck or crave forgiveness or want to deal with unfinished business or get their stories – the stories about what really happened in the life they just left – straight. Sometimes they have counsel and information for us. Sometimes they simply want to confirm that there is life after life and let us know that they are okay and that love and spirit survive. Sometimes they want to take us on a vacation to Hawaii for which we won’t have to pay for an air ticket.

–

For more guidance on all the reasons the dead come calling in dreams, and how to talk with them and assist them in their transitions, please read The Dreamer’s Book of the Dead by Robert Moss, published by Destiny Books.