First, I would never be so presumptuous to claim that I know God, or am with God.  

In an attempt to honor Him and to remain humble at the same time, I acknowledge God’s grace in my life, and I feel very blessed to have seen His hand and felt His presence in my life many times.  Looking back, it was in times of trouble and need when I reached out for God, and He was always there.

Since I was a little boy when my parents started taking me to church, I have been interested in, and loved God.  May be it was the stories of Jesus I heard, or the kiddie-Bible books of Him teaching children, or the beauty and mystery of my church and its rituals, I don’t know.  Later as a teenager having to take confirmation classes twice a week for many months I grew to dislike the stories and requirements, and felt disconnected from God, even going so far as to proclaim myself atheist or agnostic right after being confirmed.  May be it was the church or the minister that were the problem, or may be my teenage insolence.  It was by learning meditation and somehow getting into yoga that I again fell in love with my Creator.  Studying other religions and multicultural beliefs made me extremely interested in how others find and worship the Sacred.  I took Jesus’ teaching to “love thy neighbor as thyself,” quite directly and seriously.

Then, as an obese teenager weighing 400 pounds, I was miserable and very disconnected from the Divine and from others.  I thought I could handle my own problems, and didn’t even think of calling on God.  After losing and gaining over and over, in my early 30’s I’d reached the point of desperation.  I knew I was at death’s doorstep.

When all diets, pills and weight loss gimmicks had failed me, there was no other choice but to call for God’s help.  So I did.  I got on my knees and prayed.  Ever since, I have felt a strong presence of God very clearly.  God showed me the way to learn about healthy eating.  I felt inspired to use my body and enjoy being in it.  I felt my troubles lifted; my sugar addictions and overeating urges managed and repaired.

Now, I do my best to pray constantly.  I ask God to show me the way in everything I do.  I rely on Him 100% of the time, especially when I make mistakes or begin to feel fear or inferiority creeping in.

Still, I am in awe of the beauty, magnificence and mystery of God.  I feel Him inside me, especially when I take time to pray, meditate, and go to church at take the Eucharist.  I see His awesome majesty in the created world.  I hear Him in people’s words, songs, poems and praise.  I taste and sense God’s handiwork in my food, and continually pray to maintain my healthy eating habits and maintain my weight.  When I do something good for someone else, it is really God’s grace working through me, not my doing.  When I mess up and make mistakes, I know it is God who is trying to teach me through error and suffering – never giving me too much to handle, but encouraging me to work hard to make a change.  Now, enjoying full recovery due entirely to God and His empowerment of my efforts to do His work, I have made it my life’s mission to help others know and be with God.  Nothing is more important, or worthwhile than God, I totally believe and know.

In other words, when I am thinking of and praising God; when I pray and remember Him and give God all the glory and praise; when I am in my darkest time of need – God is always there, now and forever.  It is I who sometimes forgets.

So please do me a favor and remind me that God is here, OK?  Help me to see and know God’s work in you, and in your life.