What amazing comments we’re enjoying lately.  I’m so moved, impressed and grateful!  Thank you for really “being there” for each other.

I could write about two dozen blogs today, sharing some really amazing comments, but alas, space and time don’t allow.  So I’ll feature one topic and a couple of really moving comments on the subject of what fat give us.  Please know, though, that I read every comment and there are so many great ones.

I think Sandra really had a deep insight when she wrote, “I began using food for comfort and protection as a young child. When I
felt hurt or afraid which was often I would go to my room and eat food
that I had hidden there and pretend that everything was alright. The
need to do that as an adult is not there but I still find myself using
food as temporary comfort and to cover emotions that I don’t want to
feel. I think mostly loneliness, fatigue and the difficulty of my life
right now make food the only readily available source of immediate
comfort…a way of loving myself. But I know this is all craziness…it
is not comfort or love and I am certainly not loving myself by
overeating and being overweight…then I feel worse about myself and
want to eat to cover that emotion. It feels like a never ending roller
coaster that I’d love to be able to get off of!”

Yes, I too believe that food is an immediate source of comfort and connection — to something physical, to memories, to emotions from the past.  Overeating and eating for love I find is actually a disconnect, though.  It’s as if the emotions which are not physical, can be fed by something that is material.  It’s a disconnect from the body: we’re actually removing ourselves from difficult emotions when we overeat.  As Sandra said, she feels worse after. There is an end to the rollercoaster, though Sandra, and you’re consciously getting off. Don’t give up!

Lisa also had some profound revelations.  She posted, “I eat to shield myself from men. My weight gain ended my marriage, and
my husband cheated on me with thin women who look just like me.When I
lose weight the attention of men returns, and I am afraid of being hurt
again.I also eat because I am in severe financial trouble for the first
time in my life.Food soothes me for a minute or two. I can control it,
and I can afford to buy it.My life feels so out of control,but I can
control what I eat. Funny,but that sounds like I should be able to lose
this weight! It is hard, I lived such a well ordered life,now I feel so
out of control.”

Yes, Lisa, it’s hard to control much of anything in life.  All we can do is try, ask God for help, and then follow where He leads, and keep the commitment to do our best through thick and thin times.  I think you have much wisdom to teach us all when you say the fat shields you from being hurt.  That’s true for me, too, and it is for many many clients I work with.

For both Sandra and Lisa, and those of you struggling along with us, I just want to say that there IS HOPE for us.  By just being aware of what is underneath or behind the overweight condition causing us to constantly hurt ourselves, that’s a big step.

The next step is to share the feelings, the awareness with others (as you’ve done here), and with God.  There is where comfort comes — by connecting with other people and with our Creator.

Thanks again.  Please keep the conversation going and post YOUR comment.  Your experiences and insight are very valuable to everyone.