I thought that title would get your interest, but I’m serious.  Please allow me to get a little intimate today.

Working with lots of people over many years, there is a strong pattern I see in almost everyone who is struggling with overweight or obesity: relationship and sexual/intimacy troubles.  Myself included.

I’ve seen a wide range of relationship problems – from loneliness, to growing up with divorced or separated parents, to various kinds of emotional and physical abuse — linked with obesity.  Myself included.

I have seen a lot of clients who were incested or molested.  It’s so sad that happens to good people like us, but it does, and there are so many people who have experienced it.  The statistics are pretty staggering; it’s all too common.  Let me say, if that happened to you – you’re not alone – help and recovery is very possible.  That was a major factor in why I overate and binged, and got to 400 pounds when I was a teenager.

I have also seen that clients of mine who learned the importance of healthy love and intimacy in committed relationships, and who were able to make love on a regular basis, and share their lives in partnership with a lover or spouse, were able to lose weight and maintain it.  

This has been true for me – I’ve now been married 27 years, and maintained a 150-pound weight loss.  My marriage is so important to me, and we have both worked hard to keep it loving and at the center of our lives – with God’s help.  But when I was 400 pounds, it was really difficult to find a girlfriend.  I had to get into therapy, and give my life over to God, and then slowly lose weight and begin to feel better about myself, first.

If you are lonely, a victim of childhood (or adult) abuse, or have significant marriage or relationship problems, I urge you to get all the help that’s available to you.  Ask God for help every day, and then ask God (or your Higher Power) to help you find a really good counselor, therapist, or clergy member that has expertise in relationships.  One organization that I think is great is Imago Relationship Therapy, based on the work of Dr. Harville Hendrix and Dr. Helen Lakelly Hunt – click here for more information.  www.GettingtheLoveYouWant.com