We have all been told that comparing ourselves with others is not such a great idea.  When we look at others and measure ourselves comparatively, we often come up short.  If we see or think that they have what we want, we may feel envious or lacking.  Truth is, there’s always someone thinner, better looking, apparently richer, more successful, with more friends – the list can go on and on.  Frankly, it’s a no-win situation when we compare with others.

Here’s an instant remedy that may help if you are regularly comparing yourself and feeling inadequate:  when you catch yourself thinking, or saying something like, “I wish I was that skinny,” or “I will never be that pretty,” or “he’s really successful and so young, I’ll never have anything that great,” do this…

TURN IT AROUND and reflect the thought back to yourself.  Say silently or aloud, “I am just the right weight for me, and I’m getting healthier,” or “I am pretty,” or “I am successful and just the right age for me.” Whether you actually believe it or not, just do it and you can become more conscious and feel better.  Writing these positive turn-arounds can also be very helpful.  (Make a collection, and read them when you’re feeling down.)

What’s happening when people compare themselves to others and come up short is that we are projecting our own self-hatred or feelings of inferiority onto others.  By sending it out we are also paradoxically fueling, or confirming our worst fears of inadequacy.  I also have found that doing this is habitual; it’s a remnant of the past.  More, this habit of self-negativity doesn’t really get us anywhere we want to be. It makes the bad feelings worse.

This exercise of turning it around has the power to change the negative habit and heal the self-condemnation.  By pulling back the self-hatred projection and changing it to something positive we can learn to see where we need improvement, and take action on it, instead of letting it make our problems worse.  

Next, notice exactly what makes you feel envious or inferior and catalog it:  is it something like your body image, social status, age, or some possession, skill, talent, or relationship?  Knowing as much as possible about what makes you feel bad can help you be more aware of all the wonderful aspects of yourself.

Then, realizing you have a negative self-identification and understanding what it’s really about, after turning it around, and cataloging, say a little prayer thanking God for who you are and what you have.  Taking this old habit of negativity, pulling it back and changing it to positivity, becoming conscious and again, putting your life into God’s hands – will continue your self-improvement and be a big step towards opening the path to being your best.  Make this a new habit.  It will take conscious effort at first, but then, rest assured, this new habit will become almost effortless and even instinctual.

After all, how can we be inferior being one of God’s perfect creation?

Please try these new exercises and let us know how it goes, and what revelations you have – post some comments and return often to see what others write.