A Life Well Lived

What is a life well lived?  Many people who contemplate their legacies want their life to be known as one well lived.  Many people simply want to define their life as a life well lived.  What does this amorphous phrase really mean?

Is it the life of a great philanthropist and businessman such as a Steve Jobs or Andrew Carnegie? Is it the live lived by Oprah Winfrey or Teresa Heinz Kerry?  These are good examples of people who have donated huge amounts to charity and have used business success and fortunes to help others.  Their contributions to mankind have spawned new inventions, new ideas and the general improvement of the way we all live. They have empowered women to dream and achieve new heights.  They have spawned a new generation of thinkers and businessmen in their respective ages. Andrew Carnegie changed the way people did business. Steve Jobs changed the way we live our lives on all levels. Oprah Winfrey and Teresa Heinz Kerry have made indelible marks upon society through their example and through their giving.

One may think that the common thread binding these great individuals is their monetary success. This success enabled them to engage in many charitable acts. However, I think the common thread is their ability to accept and give love on a microcosmic and macrocosmic level.

Teresa Heinz Kerry has always excelled in every phase of her life.  She was an outstanding student and she has always been fearless and outspoken. Yet, it is her ability to receive and give love that distinguishes her life. She met the love of her life, Henry Heinz when she was an interpreter for the United Nations. She married him and after his death she inherited a large amount of the Heinz estate.  She could have selfishly kept that money for her family, but she decided to become a major philanthropist.   Her ability to be open to love brought her and Senator Heinz together and her ability to give love allowed her to share his great wealth with so many.

Most of us are familiar with Oprah Winfrey’s story. She represents the Dickens classic story of rags to riches. She overcame sexual abuse and racism to create an unparalleled media empire.  She has always focused upon empowering women and those  who feel as if their voices are not being heard.  She could have kept all of the fortune which she earned to herself. After all, she worked hard to earn it. Yet, she has given so much to so many based upon her inherent love for all humanity.

Steve Jobs has a similar story. People may say that he was a ruthless businessman. However, he amassed a fortune and shared his money and his joy of life with the world – even as he was dying.  He used his platform to change the way that we worked and thought. He challenged us to be more creative. He sponsored programs designed to bring the world together.  His exuberance and capacity to love was evident in every public presentation he made.  He taught us to think differently.  He loved what he did because he felt it was making the world better by allowing the world to become more connected. He was helping the world share its love with one another.

Andrew Carnegie was also viewed as a ruthless businessman.  He was ruthless in his business dealings. However, he used his fortune to enhance the lives of many. He created schools, concert halls, and foundations all with the goal of improving the lives of many.

These immensely successful people shared the capacity to receive love; to love their careers; and to share their wealth so that others could live better lives.  Yet, it was not just the money they contributed which made them great. It was the love they transmitted to others. You don’t have to be a billionaire to live this kind of life.  There are innumerable every day heroes  who also demonstrate the ability to receive and give love.

One example is the story of  Wil Smith.  Mr. Smith was a  Bowdoin University alumnus whose story is remarkable. I have taken this directly from Bowdoin University’s web site to share with you:

A Life Remembered

“Wil’s was truly a life well lived. Born in Florida, Wil was the last of ten children. His mother, Mildred, died of cancer on Wil’s fifteenth birthday. After high school he attended Florida A&M University for a year. He enlisted in the U.S. Navy in May 1989, and was trained to be an aviation electronics technician. He served in the first Gulf War and, while stationed in Italy, he was transferred to the Brunswick Naval Air Station. In the summer of 1995, he met Bowdoin Men’s Basketball Coach Tim Gilbride, who encouraged Wil to apply to Bowdoin, and the rest is a story well known by all associated with the College in those years.

But what few knew in those early days was that Wil was also a single parent. He struggled to balance his schoolwork while caring for his infant daughter, Olivia, until staff discovered his circumstances and a Bowdoin support network was established to help them both. As an older student – he was 28 when he matriculated – Wil was always a leader at Bowdoin, in the classroom, in our local community, and on the basketball court, with young Olivia playing in the stands during practice and corralled by coaches, students, and staff during games. Wil graduated with a degree in sociology, receiving his diploma in one hand while holding Olivia in the other. This inspiring story of Wil and Olivia at Bowdoin was chronicled by Yankee magazine editor Mel Allen in “A Letter to Olivia,” published in the winter 2000 edition of Bowdoin magazine. Appearances on the Today Show and on Oprah followed.

After graduation, while Wil continued to serve in the U.S. Navy Reserve, he joined the staff at Bowdoin as director of multicultural student programs. He went on to study law, earned his degree at the University of Maine School of Law, and in 2006, returned to Bowdoin where, as associate dean of multicultural student programs, he was instrumental in helping the College expand access and opportunities for students of color. Through his example, Wil also motivated and mentored students who were struggling. As far as Wil was concerned, there was nothing students couldn’t accomplish, and he let them know that every day. Once again, the media noticed Wil’s work and he was the focus of a “Making a Difference” report on NBC.

Wil was not one to sit back and take it easy. Beginning in the summer of 1999, before he graduated from Bowdoin, Wil began working with Seeds of Peace International Camp, a conflict resolution program for teenagers from Israel, Palestine, Egypt, Jordan, India, Pakistan, Afghanistan, the United States, and immigrants from Asia, Africa, and Latin America. He became associate camp director in 2007, and was working at the camp right through last summer. And for nearly a decade, Wil coached basketball at Catherine McAuley High School in Portland, where he led the Lions to the state final in 2007 and amassed an overall record of 54-27. Today, at Bowdoin, we continue to acknowledge Wil’s other record—his record of service—with the annual Wil Smith Community Service Award recognizing outstanding service to the community by a student athlete.

At the time of his death, Wil was dean of community and multicultural affairs at the Berkshire School in Sheffield, Mass., where he also served as girl’s varsity basketball coach, director of new student orientation and student leadership training, and as chair of the school’s diversity subcommittee, among several other duties.

On June 15, 2012, just after Wil was diagnosed with colon cancer, the story of Wil and Olivia was told once again to the nation in a moving Story Corps piece aired on National Public Radio. It was a conversation that told much about Wil’s courage and the love between this father and his now adult daughter. And it inspired executives at Sony Pictures to reach out to Wil about telling his story in film – a project now in the planning stages that brought Wil and Olivia back to Bowdoin just last summer…….”   Tim Foster University of Bowdoin [1]

You don’t have to be rich or famous to have a life well lived. You just need the capacity to receive and to give love.  If you accomplish those two things you have lived a life well lived.

[1] http://www.bowdoindailysun.com/2015/02/remembering-bowdoins-wil-smith-00-1968-2015/