First printed in The Daily Star, Oneonta, New York.

Death and dying

By Cheryl Petersen

With the advancement of medicine is coming an advancement in how we participate in death and dying. Five local professionals, served as a panelist at the Fly Creek Methodist Church, and brought discussion on the topic of accepting death and dying peacefully.

Dr. James Dalton, Director of Medical Education at Bassett, said “People actually restrict their lives when they don’t look at dying. Looking at death helps us realize what matters most to us.”

Dalton pointed out that death and dying aren’t medical question, but involve human talks.

The Reverend Betsy Jay, Chaplain, mentioned the benefits of talking about death in advance. “Before a crisis,” she said.

Dr. Chris Mulik, Hospice, said, “It’s a mental shift.”

Dr. Carol Beechy, Palliative Care and Hospice Specialist, highlighted the availability of Guides for people to follow. The Guides offer useful questions to ask about death.

Five Wishes, is a document designed to serve as a living will. It’s a way to open the door to conversations in regard to learning from others their personal, emotional and spiritual desires in the end, or expressing your own wishes.

Peter Deysenroth, Funeral Director, said, “People typically try to hide from death.” But, in his thirty-year career, Deysenroth has noticed an uptick in people specifying beforehand how they want to die, even following through on pre-paid funeral expenses. “It makes for easier days for everyone,” he added.

The necessity to unlearn the tendency to keep a person existing medically was discussed.

“I was trained to fix the body,” said Dr. Tom Huntsman, Chief of Plastic Surgery at Bassett Medical Center in Cooperstown. “After many years of service, I realized I can’t fix everything. At that point, I started learning how to transition from being a physician to being a human being.”

The feeling of failure oftentimes prevents honing the skill to transition. “I was able to make the transition when I realized that although I can’t help a person surgically, I can help humanly,” said Huntsman.

A book, “Being Mortal,” authored by Atul Gawande, American surgeon, initiated Pastor Sharon Rankins-Burd to host the discussion, April 11.

“I heard him speak and have read his book,” said Dalton. “He writes, not as a doctor, but as a person. We need to start the conversation about death and dying. We need to let others know how we want our last years to go.”

“I’ve discovered it’s a team effort,” said the Reverend Carol Jubenville, Director of Independent Living.  “When the patient, family members, physicians, and care-takers all work together, death can be beautiful.”