I am trying to work on taxes today and it is really really hard. I am not sure why it is, but the US Federal government and I have never been able to see eye to eye with regard to my finances. No, it’s not the usual complaints about what percent I am taxed and the Patrick Henry styled stubbornness and greed disguised to my own eyes to look like patriotism. It isn’t that. I get it. We have to pay some money and out of the deal we get roads and bridges and meaningful public programs and works. That’s fine. It’s the process that drives me up the wall. I’ve never been able to get all my forms together in just the way the government wants me to and turn them in on time. And often when i do… It still doesn’t work out.

If the government knows how much they want me to pay why can’t they just bill me?

I type this, trying to create content, trying to keep a blog up that costs less in terms of effort and is updated more than previous attempts, and yet I find myself wanting to delete, wanting to not post. Because why? Because why court controversy about something so stupid by stepping into a political sphere. And yet day by day politics steps further and further into my sphere. We can no longer acknowledge that black people matter without that being some kind of political statement. We can no longer listen to experts about epidemiology. Sometimes politicians literally teargas groups of clergy in order to step onto church grounds without permission and take ridiculous photo ops to make themselves seem righteous. And half the country defends them. Space to be uncontroversially in favor of anything at all is washing away.

At what point do I stand for something because it’s true. At what point do I write about something because I am feeling it?

Especially especially especially because nobody is actually reading.