Last week I took a most lovely yoga workshop than ran every morning. In it, the teacher asked us again and again to notice when we got so stressed we actually stopped breathing.

Like the Buddhist-ish instructor she is, she emphasized the importance of simply NOTICING, not instantly following up with self-flaggelation. Then one student spoke about a meditation teacher who noted three steps to become more aware and peaceful: 1) Notice 2) Accept 3) Act.

Most of us leap from noticing to wanting to fix. As in, being aware of the thought, “I’m so behind in my work.” And then jumping to “Gah, what is wrong with me! I need to get it together and get this done now, which I could do if I wasn’t such a blankity blank!” Which in fact is not a terribly effective motivator, often entrenching our stuckness.

So instead, it could look like: “I’m so behind in my work.” Then, “Oh, wow, you feel that way a lot, don’t you? That’s a very draining way to feel, that must be hard.” And then, once you have given yourself kindness and acknowledgement, often the “fix” comes up naturally, like, “I’m going to ask for some support for that.”

It’s really simply about squeezing some love in between your thoughts and actions. Which very often makes all the difference.

So, give that a try today if you like. Notice something–a judgement or feeling about yourself or someone else. Then give it attention and love. Hold it as if you would a beloved’s problem. And then see what happens next–the “solution” may burble up on its own.

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