My yoga colleague friend Sadie Nardini (of the Bon Jovi chant) has gotten a little press on a project she and her husband did as a New Years pre-resolution: Have sex every day for a month to help wean her from chocolate and him from cigarettes.
A potentially much more fun resolution than, say, squats. It helped them both with their habits, but they also noticed they were sleeping better and had more energy. Two recent Christian-ish memoirs about couples who had daily sex for one year also attested to similar bonuses.
As for the health benefits of regular, happy sex, this is from the CNN article on Sadie and her photographer husband:
“Researchers have long known that not only is sex fun (when done with the right person, of course), but that people who have frequent sex tend to live longer and have healthier hearts and lower rates of certain cancers. These studies also show that men with an active sex life have healthier sperm, and sexually active women have fewer menopause symptoms.”
I asked Ms. Sadie herself to expand on her experience and talk about how well it really worked and how one might actually go about such an experiement.
Oh, and, it worked so well, they’re doing it in January too.
FL: To what extent did the experiment affect the habits that were being worked on? (Smoking and eating chocolate)
Sadie: I found that I was much less likely to reach for food as a comfort during the month, and I know it had a lot to do with the fact that I was feeling fully loved and appreciated already. I didn’t need anything extra to help me with the feel-good boost chocolate used to give me because I was already there.
Also, I’d like to add that I was hesitant to share such a personal experience with the world, but then I realized that it’s another form of yoga, or union, waiting to be discovered, one that can help us reach for ourselves and each other instead of the unhealthy coping mechanisms or medicines we often use. Instead of the Ambien, try making love.
Instead of smoking, drinking, or overeating, try having sex. Instead of affirmations about how wonderful you are, hit the sack with someone who adores you! The inner and outer benefits of sex make it one of the best yogas there are. And as such, I’m happy to share anything that brings us into more connection with our inner strength and outer relationships.
FL: Any specific tips for others based on your experience if they were thinking of trying daily sex for health or other benefits?
Sadie: I would say: Having sex every day might seem like a no-brainer at first, but it’s harder than it seems. Expect that life will try its best to get in your way, and yet commit to the practice even so. It’s this dedication to one another, and to yourselves, even if the conditions aren’t optimal (you’re tired, stressed, pressed for time, not feeling sexy…) that really strengthens your bond, and the capacity you learn to have to persevere with your goals in the face of external challenges.
Also, specifically, have sex at a time that’s most convenient for you both. Obvious moments are before bed and in the morning. But a couple of times during the month, at least, set up a “date” where you’ll make more time for each other, so it’s not a month of quickies, but a real time to build and express intimacy that will last far beyond the month.
Then, as time moves on, implement a “week of sex” or your special dates, anytime you feel life getting the better of you both.
And, by the way, the “month of sex” can still stand even if you don’t currently have a partner!
What are your thoughts?
[Image via: http://edition.cnn.com/2010/HEALTH/01/07/sex.health.benefits/index.html]
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