Thinking about God while in church—better, of course, than thinking about NFL football, which is what I usually think about on September Sunday afternoons. Or the New York Jets, which some might argue is not really NFL football.

Whatever. Back to God. The pastor was doing his pastor thing: Thank God for the blessings in your life, for when good things happen He’s blessing us. When bad things happen—well, you need to live a more Godly life. Look at how you’re living and try to get back to Him.

Uh, really? That does a disservice to God and a disservice to us. God is not an ever-present judge, dishing out punishments and rewards according to our thoughts and behaviors of the minute. God’s better than that, a comforter and Lover-in-Chief who wants more than anything for us to live with hope and assurance. Faith in God and His love is critical to getting us through the tough times—which happen, in varying quantities, every day to every one of us. . “Stuff Happens,” remember?

My first reaction, having been born in New York City and never having lost that Big Apple polish, was to…well, never mind, as I went with my second reaction. I muttered under my breath “Fuggedaboudit!” and followed it with an emphatic “Getoudaheah!” –which deprived me of the company of the row of seniors to my left.

So let’s bring it back to you and not just surviving, but thriving. Let’s do some real theology from a real God of real comfort. Do some Bible stuff, and take a look at Job and the other boys in the band, and read it the way it is meant to be read. Sometimes, when good things happen He is, in fact, blessing us. Sometimes when good things happen He’s not–it’s just life, where good things happen as well as the bad.

And as for the bad: well, God don’t do bad. I still remember my wife’s face when a visiting friend consoled her with, “Thank God that you’re important enough to Him that He gave you ALS—it gives you a chance to show us how to bear this burden..”You know the classic country song, “Dropkick Me Jesus Through the Goalposts of Life”? Well, her eyes said “Dropkick Her Stuart, Through the Front Door of Our Home.” However, just her eyes—she was too gosh-darned nice to say it.

God doesn’t originate the bad stuff of life. That comes from another direction, down below, the same place that’s in charge of hiring coaches for the New York Jets. But stuff happens. And having faith, believing in Him can help in working your way through them. Prayer helps—but the best thing about prayer is it brings you closer to the ultimate comforter. That’s the God I know—the one who supplied the Bible quote that my late wife carried in her wallet for all of her adult life: “Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” Living the years of uncertainty and terminal illness, watching her strengthened by the presence of God—she was a living, breathing sermon, teaching those around her the joy that a love of God offers when you’re undergoing the stresses and strains of life…and life’s end. He was with her in her suffering; He was not the cause of her suffering, nor is he of yours.

Which brings us back to church and pastors. As long as I’m doing country, if his sermon were to borrow the title of another classic country song, it would be “Your Head Hurts, Your Feet Stink, and You don’t love Jesus.” But the song I was singing under my breath was yet another country classic, “You Can’t Roller Skate in a Buffalo Herd”

Nor on some days in some of our churches. Wonderful places, but at times not so much. But that’s part of working your way through “stuff.” Consider carefully the advice you get and understand that good people—like this pastor or my wife’s friend—can get things wrong…and you just have to use the discernment that God gives us to sort it all out…lovingly, always lovingly.

And sometimes, make sure to step carefully on your way out of church.