It’s become a part of our greeting ritual, but it’s also one of the most difficult questions we face.

“How are you?”

Usually, there’s a perfunctory, “Fine. How are you?”

And the answer to that one?

“Fine, thanks.”

And the conversation moves on.

But if you have a chronic illness, you probably have found yourself thinking inside, “No, I’m lying, really. I’m not fine.” or, “I’d like to really say how I feel, but he/she probably doesn’t want to hear the truth.”

So, what do you say?

For me, I try to break it down a bit. Often, I respond, “Spirit-wise, I’m great. But healthwise…” or, I might say, “You know, above all, I’m blessed.”

With very close friends and family, I’ll probably go into more detail, especially if I’m in the midst of or fresh from a flare or other health crisis.  But with strangers, well, I admit I do fall into the “Fine, thanks, and you,” protocol more often than not.

Some languages do have “set” rituals of greeting. I remember when I studied Irish Gaellic, I marveled at the back and forth exchange that took place before a conversation started. It went something like:

“Good day. God be with you.”

“Good day. God and Mary be with you.”

“God and Mary and Joseph be with you.”

etc…

Now, as someone who carries the “baggage” of a chronic health condition, I realize that we lupies and others have our own ritual, individualized, of course, depending upon with whom we’re speaking.

It’s truly like speaking a whole other language, I suppose. One that takes a lifetime to get just right!

Blessings for the day,

Maureen