It’s  not your annoying neighbor, your stingy boss, your selfish ex or that guy who cut in front of you at the grocery store. The often difficult pill to swallow is that the one person standing between you and your happiness is yourself.

It’s not that you want to be unhappy, sad or depressed. It’s not that you want to stay at home and dream of a better life instead of live it. But as time begins to unravel like a red carpet towards your dreams, the gap between what you have in comparison to what you want seems impossible to fill.

The older you get, the harder it is to hold onto the belief that your someday will come. And with that, hope and possibility melt away. In a last attempt to ward off further disappointment, you accept your mediocre life. You realize you may never fulfill your dreams and that the hopelessness and despair of this moment will last forever.

You’re Far from Done Yet

Disappointment is inevitable. But I don’t think that means we give up on our dreams. I also don’t think it means we cower away in fear of being disappointed, that we analyze restaurant menus so we don’t order the wrong thing, or obsess over friendships or size up potential partners so we don’t get hurt again.

Getting hurt, feeling discouraged and worrying if we will ever get what we want in life are painful. But if we are able to get through it and experience what it’s like to keep enduring despite guarantees, we will really know what it’s like to walk on water.

When I’m discouraged about my own dreams and the tornado of doubt begins to unravel hope, I often think about a woman I knew a long time ago. She had a successful career, but wanted a family of her own more than anything. While the people who knew her (myself included) worried that she would never get what she wanted (she was 40 and a workaholic), she never lost faith.

A few years later after I lost touched with this woman, I received an email saying that she not only got married, but had twins.

It’s easy to use excuses as reasons why we can’t be happy. There could be logical legitimate examples why you can’t have kids, get the job of your dreams, or find your true purpose in life. Then again, maybe you’re relying too much on evidence to prove why what you want is unattainable. Maybe instead we need to go beyond what’s reasonable and reach out with arms outstretched for just a little more faith.