I was chatting with a few women who are experiencing the growing pains of divorce. Perhaps I should call them the ‘firsts’ of divorce.

I wish someone had given me the following advice. I wish I had known not to internalize every comment. The fact that I didn’t made me go from being a waterfall with only my husband to turning into a big, hot crying, mess with others.

So here goes…

Our family and some of our best friends are going to worry about us enough to cross boundaries. We aren’t going to like it, but we understand it and we are going to take it. The stress and worry of seeing us suffer is more than they can bare.

However, if someone you are just friendly with – not close with, has too much to say – Walk away, don’t internalize it, don’t perseverate over it, don’t sit in your car and cry over it – don’t anything ‘it.’

Instead, ask yourself what I now ask myself when a somewhat good intentioned individual oversteps.

WISI – WOULD I SAY IT?

If the answer is no, not on your life, would I have the nerve, lack of respect, gall, lack of boundaries, etc. to say it? Then I know I don’t deserve it nor do I have to answer it or stay for it.

Just move on – don’t anything ‘it.’

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