I have spent a fair amount of time regretting the lost years I spent trying to convince my husband to work on our marriage. A lot of time beating myself up for my mistake in believing I could reach someone who did not want to be reached.

Every once in a while, even the writer in me has very little to say on a topic.

If your relationship is struggling and each of you are not placing the same value on fixing it then stop believing you can change a person.

People change for essentially just a few simple reasons.

They allow enough God in their lives that their spirituality allows them growth.
They allow enough family in their lives to see their impact on those they love.
They allow enough confidence in themselves to recognize that counseling is an evolution of growth and not a threat.
They allow enough humbling into their heart to admit they are in a bad place.

What each of these has in common is that they start with ‘they’ and not ‘you.’

You can’t do it for them.

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