I hear from so many people about their relationships or about their divorce. Actually, I hear from many people just about life in general – their hopes, their dreams and often their mistakes.

I always thought it was one of my better qualities to be self-reflective. To be able to admit to my mistakes and faults. However, there came a day where that quality made me stuck. It held me back.

I didn’t just have marital problems that led to divorce. I dragged it out for so long that I became the poster child for divorce. This fact made it even harder for me to forgive myself my mistakes. I was not only embarrassed that I had stayed so long that I had used up my better qualities to make way for less attractive ones – I couldn’t forgive myself that my mistakes defined my childrens lives.

I have written about the day that I sat in my marriage counselor’s office struggling to accept this.

I have written about the moment he turned to me and said, “Colleen, you have always said that you believe everything that has happened to you in life is because it was God’s plan for you. Why don’t you believe that maybe God is giving your children the life he meant for them.”

It was the moment that freed me. It lifted the burden of my lack of self-forgiveness.

Two different people reached out to me this week. They, too are struggling and unwilling to gift themselves forgiveness.

If you are in this same see saw of self-criticism then you lack faith. Faith bestows upon us the ability to recognize our mistakes and failures are all a part of our individual story. God does not make mistakes. We may have the free will to make a few along our journey only he has been working on our story all along.

Great faith doesn’t mean we dwell on our mistakes. It means we peak around the corner with anticipation to learn where God is leading us from them.

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