I remember the day my friend turned to me and said, “Colleen, no one person tried any harder than you to save your marriage. You can find peace that you left no stone unturned.”

No one wants their children to experience divorce. It is ugly, it is disillusioning and it is life changing.

I hope one day my children look back and say…

– My mother chose divorce because she knew that we would one day go out into the world and duplicate the relationship we saw between our parents – and not the love that each of them made us feel. My mother left because the love we deserved in life was something that she felt was non-negotiable. A love which is confident, unconditional, non-controlling, respectful, loyal and devoted and healthy.

-I can’t imagine the pain my mother felt when she knew that she had to temporarily watch us struggle in pain so that she could ensure that we would find long-term happiness in our future.

-I can’t imagine the kind of strength it took to walk away from the life my mother had built for herself and for us. I can’t imagine the strength it took to walk away from family and friends that she loved because she loved us more.

-I can’t imagine how much she loved our father that she stayed despite the fact she was singularly trying to save a relationship. And that in that moment she chose love over perfection in those that she loved.

-I can’t imagine what it felt like to feel lonely and judged even by some that loved her because of her mistakes and how long it took her to get out of a bad situation.

-I can’t imagine how she struggled, feeling that she had let us down by not keeping our family together and coming to peace with the fact that God had other plans for us.

-I can’t imagine the pain in the moment that my mother finally realized that there was no strength in staying and that ultimately the strength was in leaving.

-I can’t imagine how brave my mother was to look towards our future rather than stay trapped in the denial of her present.

I can’t fathom the depths of the love my mother has for us.

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