I spent plenty of time feeling sorry for myself. Why my marriage? Why my family? Why is history repeating itself? Why are my greatest fears coming true? Why me? It is wasted time playing the victim. Albeit, human nature. I refer to it as fighting God. I couldn’t understand why a dream as simple as…

Every marriage deserves the right to be saved before it is ultimately abandoned. The true conundrum is both individuals must want to salvage the relationship. Sadly, it often is just one of the two people who are truly invested in caring enough to do so. Therefore, it is important to make foundational changes that involve…

Divorce is a healthy decision to end an otherwise unhealthy relationship. It is not the sinister enigma the moniker has accrued. It is the bravery to face the insecurities of loneliness, finances, and uncertainty. It is the courage to want more for ourselves and our children. It the admission of imperfection. It is an attempt…

I walk the streets of New York City. I pass the Ritz Carlton at Central Park. I spy the horse carriages. At first, I revel with excitement. Since I was a little girl going home to my parents native New York, I have delighted in the horses of Central Park. My mood shifts from joy…

People ask me why I write about divorce. Their reactions always vary. -They either thank me -Are shocked I am willing to put it all out there -Tell me that they admire that I do -Or admit that though they may not be my demographic and are married, they still enjoy reading this column. I…

I walk with my neighbors. Our morning ritual visiting while our dogs visit. I tell my neighbor how much motherhood suits her daughter. How the light in her smile reflects the ease with which mothering comes to her. I tell them about the joy I felt after my first son was born just two years…

One of the most troubling aspects of being involved with a narcissist is their lack of traditional or so-called normal reactions to life. Thus, those who have been in a relationship a with a narcissist often describe a sense of non-reality or feeling crazy when interacting with them. This stems from the fact narcissists tend…

In counseling, you learn that there is absolutely no excuse for bad behavior. Well, let me clarify. There is zero excuse for repeated bad behavior. Something I wrote in my last column gave me pause. The fact that I ended my marriage to take my children out of a position of conflict, yet divorce put…

It’s not complex arthrometric, positive emotions add to our lives while negative emotions subtract from them. When it’s stated this simply, it’s amazing that anyone loses sight of this uncomplicated metric. But people do stay in bad relationships and jobs they hate. They remain, volunteers or caregivers even long after they have burned out and…

My son says something that stops me in my tracks. “Mom, is dad a good person?” I stop what I am doing. I realize that my sons are becoming young men and no longer the children of yesterday. Hence, the ability to actually verbalize this question rather than silently wonder. “Of course,” I say. “I…

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