I wrestle with my Hazel and might I add, all 75 pounds of her. She is both excited and nervous. The trademark sound of dogs barking sifts through the air. The vet enters the room with a smile. She bends down to look at my Hazy and then asks the questions I have been dreading.

“How much are you feeding her?” she says.

I have become a cliche.

An overweight dog and an overweight owner.

“It’s not that,” I respond. “She’s a social eater and a counter stealer and I must confess her mommy may be feeding her a few too many treats lately.”

Sure, I can blame it on the fact that the two of us (Me and my Hazy) are approaching empty nesterdom (yes, I know not a real word). Hence, a little more alone time with the two of us leading to a bit more ‘treats.’

However…

Show me an owner with a few extra pounds and I will show you a dog with a few extra pounds. Okay, not always, but sadly, certainly some truth to this statement.

“She needs to lose fifteen pounds,” announces the vet.

Whoa! Really??!! Even I didn’t think she looked that overweight, but a girl does have to have another girl’s back, doesn’t she? Personally, I think my Hazy is carrying those extra pounds quite well. Or as her loyal doggie aunt says, ‘she’s simply big boned.'”

The vet walks out one door as I grab the handle to the other. Hazel and I exit the exam room to check out. Hazy, bad as ever throws her paws up on the counter. For what else? Counter treats, of course.

I open the car door and my girl jumps in. I glance over at her while she proudly rides shotgun. It’s time. No getting around it. I don’t want to be a cliche and I really don’t want to be a doggie cliche. I need to lose the weight.

This leads to only one logical conclusion.

My dog and I are dieting together.

I know, usually, a girl diets with her sisters, maybe a friend, maybe even her mom. Me?? I’m measuring food and eating veggies with my chocolate lab.

I scoop a tablespoon of canned pumpkin and mix it with her cup of food. Oddly, Hazel seems to like her diet supplement. It gets me thinking. What if my dog diets better than I do? Now, that could be embarrassing. I mean, it is possible! She already likes exercising and walking more than I do.

I can’t help but think this is good. I will be motivated now. After all, I want to keep my Hazy healthy. And most importantly, I control her willpower so how can I not control my own?

I come home a few days later.

I am ready to introduce a some veggies (that evidently dogs like) to my Hazel’s diet.

I make my way past the kitchen.

My Hazy bounces towards me proudly with tail wagging and mouth full. She’s been counter surfing. It seems that in my hurry I may have mistakenly left a few goodies out that were far too tempting for a girl on a diet.

It is a tricky situation. Do I grab a carb out of a dieting girl’s mouth? Nah, even disciplined dieters need a cheat day now and then.

Even more importantly? Bagels are Hazy’s kryptonite. Some girls like sweets and some like bread.

We’ll open a new can of pumpkin tomorrow.

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