I remember the day I sat in my marriage counselor’s office and declared, “I will do anything to save my marriage. Anything! Just tell me what to do.”

I was so naive.

I believed one person could care enough for two. I alone would find a way to fix our marital problems.

I honestly don’t remember my marriage counselor’s response that day.

I was in the infancy of divorce, the early days, the first few months which led me to retain about a third of what he told me.

Can you blame me?

I was multi-tasking –  snatching tissue after tissue, sniffling, crying, over-explaining, begging and of course, at times attempting to demonstrate a decent amount of self-respect. That is, in between tightly cradling fists of Kleenex – just one more thing for me to do.

I was an emotional over-achiever! 

There was only so much time I could devote to listening, right?

Making matters more complicated was my intention to alter my first name. Tenacity would replace Colleen. The proverbial ‘dog with a bone’ would be child’s play in my world. The marriage would prevail!

I recently read a curated piece on a Vanity Fair interview with Jennifer Garner.

It seems I was also married to Ben, well, ‘a Ben’ so to speak. 

The curated article led me to reference the original piece.

http://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2016/02/jennifer-garner-talks-kids-career-ben-affleck

Naturally, when Jen said divorce had been “a year of wine” it confirmed we were related. It seems only Hollywood is keeping us two Sista’s apart. Further, validation? I am, after all, a Virginia girl and she my West Virginia Counterpart. 

Jen’s relationship thoughts are eloquent and profound.

Among them, “You have to have two people to dance a marriage.”

As a writer, when I find myself re-reading a girl’s words it means they have something to leave with me.

And in between Jen’s wisdom, I can sense her tenacity. Her resistance to give up. Her desire to keep coming back around. Her devotion and loyalty to family and seeing the best in those she loves.

I can envision her emotional multi-tasking.

The snatching of tissue after tissue, sniffling, crying, over-explaining, begging and of course, at times attempting to demonstrate a decent amount of self-respect. That is, in between tightly cradling fists of Kleenex – just one more thing for her to do.

And for no other reason but the value, she places on love. An irrefutable commodity in her world. A girl deeply rooted in her own family and West Virginia roots. A girl who wants her children to see the best of love just as she sees the best of those she loves.