I am chatting with a few girls.

“Hey, don’t talk about my friend like that!” says my friend who I will nickname ‘Rainbow.’

At first, I am startled. Did I just say something about someone I shouldn’t have?

Oh, that’s right…I wasn’t talking about another person I was talking about myself in a self-deprecating manner.

‘Rainbow’ was sticking up for me.

Obviously, I have forgotten how to…have my own back that is.

I will admit, I have always been somewhat self-deprecating but divorce has oddly supercharged it.

I’m not sure whether divorce makes us temporarily lose our self-esteem or self-respect, but sadly it often does.

I talk to people who have left marriages due to affairs, drinking and more – they still despite their anger – lose a part of themselves  – their dignity and self-respect and self-esteem.

It is bewildering the person who feels worse in divorce is the one who did not behave badly but rather fought to save their marriage. Yet, we over time, become a part of a unit and we attach ourselves to that union. And of course, staying in that fractured union too long makes us behave poorly which feeds the need..to self-deprecate.

The good news?

With truly good counseling AND time your dignity and self-respect and self-esteem returns.

But the bad habits can remain.

I was beating myself up over a few pounds I have gained when ‘Rainbow’ stuck up for me. Well, more than a few.

Okay, to be truthful I feel like the before and after pics of the Presidency. 

You know what I am talking about. Four long years does even the youngest President in. The wrinkles and the gray dominate the place where youth and optimism once ruled.

That’s me – the before and after of divorce.

Luckily for me…

A woman named ‘Rainbow’  doesn’t let me talk about her friends.

 

 

 

(Photo courtesy of Pexels)

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