I’ve been a little inconsistent as of late – with my column that is.

I had no idea how consuming it would be to go to court. The stress of standing before someone who was once your very best friend in the whole world.

Despite my reality, I still find myself asking how it came to this?

Why couldn’t two adults just settle amicably and move on after all was lost?

Of course, I know the answer and it is very complicated. It is also different for each individual who finds themselves at this crossroads.

For me personally, I believe despite other contributing factors if people received counseling it would at least help a portion move on without using the money, their children, the legal system and more to play out their anger.

Tomorrow morning I will face a stranger who I used to love.

I will enter that room with a different type of butterflies in my stomach than the ones he induced at nineteen.

I will be sad, scared, stressed and more.

Borrowing money from a family member to go to court was a last-ditch effort on my part.

I saw no other way to free myself any longer.

Believe it or not, only an extremely small percentage of divorces end up in court. I would have to refer to the statistics again but it is less than 5% or so I once read in a Psychology Today article. The most difficult cases end up there. The divorces where either one or both parties simply can’t come to any type of agreement.

Coincidentally, that would be one of the largest reasons my marriage ended.

There was never any compromise. Simply one way to live.

The difference?

We never had a third party to mediate.

For myself and my kids and even my soon to be ex-husband, I ask for prayers.

Because we all need to move on in a variety of different ways.

And because I am ready to write more columns about rebuilding life and reclaiming who we are and who we are meant to be.

And searching for new butterflies.

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