I know many people who have suffered the excruciating pain and indignity of an extramarital affair.
Their loss is often intensified because they feel as if they never truly knew the individual they dedicated their hearts to.
Affairs are far too complex to simplify.
After all, the average two-person relationship can reak enough heartache and havoc – add another individual to the equation and the pain seems to exponentially multiply.
On top of that, the cheater appears to find infidelity sexy. Until they are caught that is. And then they begin the trademark task of turning the adultery table and shifting the blame to the one who was cheated on.
The inference? The unknowing spouse caused the affair because they weren’t good enough or they drove them to it or they traveled too much or….you get the idea.
This insinuation can attack the self-esteem of even the most confident individual.
The cowardly adulterer has a million excuses to deflect their own bad behavior.
All the more reason to seek counseling and advice to heal from this type of ordeal.
The following is a brilliantly insightful article from Gwyneth Paltrow’s goop.com, Why People Cheat is an incredible read for anyone who has experienced the brutal betrayal of a spouse. It includes a Q&A with Esther Perel a sexuality expert and psychotherapist. She is the author of the book The State of Affairs.
The good news? Perel sheds positive perspective genuinely seeing affairs from both sides of the coin.
One of my favorite quotes in the piece?
“Through the worst, we try to understand the best, and through broken people, we try to understand whole people. ” – Esther Perel
Above link from goop.com –
(Picture courtesy of Pexels)
Follow me on Facebook @Colleen Orme National Columnist
on Twitter @colleenorme
on Pinterest @colleensheehyorme
E-mail: Colleen.Sheehy.Orme@gmail.com
www.colleensheehyorme.com
Read Previous Post
