I remember the day I sat in my marriage counselor’s office and through the tears, kleenex and runny mascara blurted out…

Why is God doing this to me?

Wow, now looking back, I can’t believe those words ever came out of my mouth!

Can you say, victim?

In my defense, I was losing my family. All that mattered to me in the world. And worse, my children were now reliving what I had lived and had sworn I would never let happen. Step that up a bit by adding all the societal frowning divorce brings as well as the change in friendships and perception of who one is just because their relationship failed…

AND

There you have it!

Why is God doing this to me?

I remember clearly at the end of that particular hour, my marriage counselor smiling and saying, “Colleen, you do know that God is not doing this to you.”

I have said many times, that a truly good therapist will teach you to take responsibility for yourself, your own decisions which led you to this point and self-empowerment. If not, no legitimate healing will take place.

Therefore, even if you married an alcoholic, a gambler, a narcissist, etc. God was never doing this to you. You were making choices which led you or kept you in situations which were never healthy, to begin with. Perhaps you thought you could save or rescue the person you loved. Or perhaps, they were healthy when you married them and things led them down an unhealthy road. It is your responsibility to set limits and boundaries and ultimately leave if necessary.

There is a time to lick our wounds and frankly, I happen to be a big advocate of that.

We should cry and stomp our feet, punch our pillows, toss and turn and cry some more.

We should bemoan our situation and yes, I can’t believe I am going to say it – feel sorry for ourselves.

But that should last for just a short time…

AND

We should never blame God.

Instead, we must realize God is attempting to rescue us from those we chose to naively rescue ourselves.