I lost my mom when I was just twenty-eight years old but rest assured if the chips are down my Catholic mother comes knocking.

When I am overly stressed, confused, burdened, or lost I cling to her example.

It might be daily mass, her favorite prayer, praying for a sign, or calling on the saints.

In fact, since her passing the place I most fee her presence is at Mass. I think because she was so incredibly devout her entire life was built upon her faith. Hence, all these years later if one of her favorite hymn’s echoes through the pews I can still find myself fighting back the tears.

At that moment, heaven isn’t far away.

Because her beliefs are mine. 

As I like to say, my mother was a spiritual giant.

She rarely said anything except, “Put it in the hands of The Lord.”

I guess it provides comfort knowing whether she was here with me now or lost too soon her advice would be the same. Still, I find myself searching. My long-overdue divorce trial date looming next month.

So yes! I’ve been saying her favorite prayer (the Memorare), praying for signs and calling on more than a few saints.

Initially, like any good Catholic girl, I looked up the feast day for June 12th. 

Only to discover there isn’t an actual saint assigned to that day. There are actually nineteen (yes, 19) saints associated with that particular day. I decide to send a quick email to one of my favorite priests who I like to call “Father Hope.” He confirms there is not one saint associated with June 12th. However, in part, I am sure from knowing my long journey he suggests I pray to all nineteen saints.

Not a bad idea.

At first, I am discouraged.

I would really feel better if it was an actual feast day and I could pray to one saint.

Instead, I decide I will pray to St. Anthony (he’s my guy), St. Michael (our protector and defender), and all four of the patron saints for lost causes, as well as, Gabriel, Raphael, and the Blessed Mother.

That’s right!

I’m going full-on Rosemarie (my mom)!

And I’ve had a change of mind about having one devoted feast day.

The Catholic cup is half-full!

It looks as though God has given me nineteen saints to pray to! 

A spiritual lottery!

I’m ready for June 12th.

But just to be sure, I will carry a small black and white picture with me.

So heaven won’t be too far away.