I’m sitting at a traffic light.
I am sleep-deprived, stressed, and overwhelmed. But I have only one thought. The sun shines brightly and warmth seeps through the open window.
Thank you, God, for this beautiful day.
I surprise myself.
Things in my life are desperate. I am in the middle of a brutally abusive elongated divorce. I take one step forward, two steps back. I am struggling and my children are suffering.
I can’t afford groceries or school supplies. Every week a new challenge is thrown my way. For the first time in my life, I feel sorry for myself. Not because of what is happening but because I am unable to solve my own problems. I could deal with the foreclosure notices, insurance cancellations, and the car repo guy if I could dig myself out.
But every time I make progress my husband throws a new divorce curve.
Yet at this moment I am grateful. For the everyday beauty of a new day. I would love to take credit for this miraculous moment of spirituality. But I can’t. It was handed down to me by my mother. A spiritual giant who gracefully accepted the adversity that came her way.
A woman who despite her challenges professed how eternally blessed she was.
A devout believer God was always and forever working in her life.
Tears crept into my eyes. I was being physically, emotionally, and financially bullied. My husband was willing to hurt our children to hurt me. He would use, confuse, and abuse them if he saw it as a means to winning and leaving me with nothing. This made the financial duress seem like child’s play. Watching my children suffer because of my mistakes was excruciating. Witnessing it at the hands of the man I chose to be their father was worse.
But I was given the grace to have a moment of spiritual clarity. To stop feeling sorry for myself, or to complain of fatigue or stress. Or worry about the next problem or financial tactic being thrown my way.
It was a beautiful day.
God, blessings, and a spiritual giant wouldn’t let me forget that.
Despite the challenges of the human condition.
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