I am proud to have grown up an Irish, Catholic. I think this is how most of us feel about our heritage and our faith.

I always knew that I wanted to marry another Catholic.

I remember the first column that I wrote several years ago The 3 Things That Ended My Marriage. I realized I had married a Catholic only in troubled times we turned out to be two very different types of Catholics.

I was raised to believe that difficulty was meant to shape us. That adversity is a rubber band yanking us back towards God.

I always say that I grew up imperfectly perfect.

I was raised by a single mother of five who worked tirelessly to be all things to each of us. We had a tremendous love together and a need for each of us to be fiercely independent and chip in.

When I met my husband I was so glad that he appeared to have grown up perfectly. No, not for the reasons which you are probably thinking. I wasn’t seeking nor did I have an interest in a perfect person. It was simply because when you love someone, you are so happy to believe they have lived with few struggles and much of what they deserved.

I have been asked what might have made my marriage survive. I believe that a spiritual commitment to faith and not a ritualistic commitment to faith would be the answer to that question.

Actually, I think if I was just meeting someone today, I wouldn’t just look at them as a registered Catholic. Think registered politician. What does that mean? Sure, you belong to a party, but what do you really believe? What do you really stand for?

I stand for the rubber band of adversity which yanks me back towards God.

Often, an initially unwelcome call to grow as human beings and to do so with purpose.

I made my world smaller and walked closer to my faith and family.

My husband and I were both Catholics, but we were not the same type of Catholics.

He did not find his way towards faith and family. Had he, we would still be together because according to the way that I was raised…

When you have God and family, you have everything.

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