No, not a particularly Happy New Year so far…sounds scandalous I Know.

It goes against this self-help, motivational junkie to admit that I am starting the New Year off this way. I was ready to write something really positive. After all, that’s who I have always been.

Only it’s not who I am right now.

At first I was jazzed about the New Year. My divorce would be final and I could move forward. Then the truth set in. I got an attorney over a year ago. My Complaint for Divorce was filed five months ago. I am no closer to being divorced. The process can be unbelievably long.

I put myself in a supremely vulnerable position admitting this.

Divorce should not be this complex or take this long. However, the truth is it often ends up being a continued extension of the already existing marital issues.

I want to heal, I want my kids to heal. I want to regain enough joy to live a life of purpose. One where you haven’t quite forgotten why God put you here to begin with. One where you make a positive contribution to the lives of others.

I thought starting this process meant a step in that direction. A chance for light to enter our lives again.

Only I bought into the “Divorce Package.” I’ll take one divorce, hold the drama (oh wait I already ordered that side). There doesn’t seem to be a way to stop the hemorrhaging.

Why? Because divorce like marriage involves two people and both of those people need to be ready to heal and let go.

The divorce process is flawed. It is a system designed around the focus of custody and money, yet it is an industry based in emotion. No, consumed by emotion. Until this is recognized and the field of counseling and psychology have a greater influence in resolution it will continue to wear out the very people who need to be focused on their children and not themselves.

Ordering a divorce? Be careful, it comes with a lot of ‘sides.’

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