There have been so very many times since I began this divorce process that I have felt weak. So weak, that I have wondered what I am made of.

Do I have what it takes to be a single parent?
Do I have what it takes to support all of us?
Do I have what it takes to reinvent myself all these years later?
Do I have what it takes to manage the stress?
Do I have what it takes to suddenly make a big income?

I have felt self-conscious. I have been hard on myself. I have beat myself up for feeling tired and scared. For feeling alone and needy. For feeling overwhelmed and unsure. For feeling directionless and in need of direction.

Mostly, I have just felt weak. Like someone stronger could have figured this out sooner. That someone stronger would have cried less. That someone stronger would have held on to faith more. That someone stronger would already be self-supporting.

That someone stronger would do a better job at this than me.

Then suddenly, I realized that I was becoming the sum of all my weakest moments. That while I had fervently worried about my strength, I had been gaining it in the process.

There cannot be strength without weakness.

Our weakest moments are in fact, our strongest hours.

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