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It’s hard to admit shortcomings in any aspect of our lives. It’s even more challenging to face the fault in our relationships. It signifies the frightening possibility of surrendering to the potential demise of the complex relationships that sustain us when they do not drain us. There are a variety of ways to kick a…

I hate change. I am a creature of comfort. I love my family, the town I grew up in and I had zero desire to venture off to college. My mom had other plans. For me, that is. A spitfire of a New Yorker, she told me not only would I be going to college…

Couples usually go to marriage counseling with the belief that their better half is the true reason they have ended up in counseling. In truth, it takes two people to arrive at this destination. Some relationships experience a slow and neglectful erosion and therefore, it makes sense both individuals must take responsibility. The time and…

Let’s be honest. Anyone who has experienced divorce will tell you there are triggers. Emotional arsenals to be exact. If you need a visual think firecracker stash accidentally meets flame. You get it. Boom. Spark. Boom. More Sparks. Firecrackers ignite. Sky implodes. I think it’s fairly easy to understand this phenomenon. Divorce is like grief.…

Everyone has a certain degree of ego. The question is how immense is that ego? A huge ego can cause a tremendous amount of strife and frustration in a relationship. It can also create a great divide in a couple. Thus, endangering the overall happiness or longevity of a relationship. Ego is the essentially the…

I am chatting with a friend. “How do you keep up with all of these problems?” he asks. Here’s the thing. When someone you know, respect and like says something that gives you pause, you have to take the time to reflect. The funny thing? Before I initiated divorce proceedings I didn’t have problems. I…

I sit in my marriage counselor’s office. I tell him a woman I know once told me that she buried one husband and divorced another and divorce is worst. She had lost her first husband to cancer at a young age. She remarried and is still many years later in the middle of a contiguous…

I spent plenty of time feeling sorry for myself. Why my marriage? Why my family? Why is history repeating itself? Why are my greatest fears coming true? Why me? It is wasted time playing the victim. Albeit, human nature. I refer to it as fighting God. I couldn’t understand why a dream as simple as…

Every marriage deserves the right to be saved before it is ultimately abandoned. The true conundrum is both individuals must want to salvage the relationship. Sadly, it often is just one of the two people who are truly invested in caring enough to do so. Therefore, it is important to make foundational changes that involve…

I walk the streets of New York City. I pass the Ritz Carlton at Central Park. I spy the horse carriages. At first, I revel with excitement. Since I was a little girl going home to my parents native New York, I have delighted in the horses of Central Park. My mood shifts from joy…
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