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I once heard the average unhappily married person considers leaving at least ten times before they actually do. Personally, I think the number is probably much higher. Marriage is a huge commitment which most people take very seriously. Hence, why people fail to leave when they first instinctually feel the relationship cannot be repaired. Of…

I was chatting with a few of my old high school buddies recently and I complimented one of their wives. My friend responded to my comment with additional praise about his wife. “I love guys who love their wives,” I said. I feel proud in saying the guys I hung out with in high school…

I’ve had a few people ask me if writing about divorce keeps me stuck. It’s a really good question. On the contrary, writing about divorce is the one place I feel in control in an out of control divorce. It is cathartic and empowering to open my heart about a topic, many fear to talk…

Can you rescue someone? This question is raised time and time again by individuals who reach out to me. They just don’t phrase it this way. I have written about this often because rescuers refuse to believe the answer is no.  Sure, as in all things there are exceptions to the rule and every enabler…

It’s been said there are more bad counselors than good ones.  How do you find a solid one? Do the necessary prerequisite homework – research them and ask others for referrals. Ask yourself some of the following questions? Are my spouse and I experiencing simple communication issues? If so, a good LCSW (Licensed Clinical Social…

My mother once said, “He loves you as much as he’s capable of loving anyone.” I was recently reminded of her wisdom. At the time my mom did not speak these words to me but even then it was clear she was speaking of her own truth and experience. My father loved my mother. Unfortunately,…

We have to move. I know you don’t understand.  I am so sorry. This is where you met your pack. Where you traveled from room to room  – carefully choosing whose bed you would jump into and who to snuggle next to at night. Where you peered out a window perch to make sure all…

I remember chatting with my friend during the final demise of my marriage. She pondered whether there was really just ‘one’ person for each of us in life.  I was horrified! Me, the idealistic writer. Of course, there is only ‘one!’ – – THE ONE! After all, at thirteen my best friend and I had…

Divorce is a huge loss for children. Life as they know it has forever changed. It is at the same time – a new beginning – a healing of past pain and a stronger, more positive future. Children need to know everything is going to be okay.   They need to have their home restored…

There are resounding themes people will rely on to explain why they choose to remain in a bad marriage. And they sound like really, really good reasons. After all, we have as a society relied on these marital excuses for decades. Who are we to fight convention? However, there is a growing awareness of many…
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