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I am on the phone chatting with my friend “Nellie.” We share two different realities with one common denominator. We are both husbandless. “Nellie” lost her husband too early in life. Me, I am losing mine because of divorce. Despite the fact that “Nellie” and I have arrived at the same crossroads for different reasons,…

There are so many things that I wish I had known long before my marriage began to fracture. I wish I had realized how critical it was to demand certain things. More importantly, I wish I had known that it was anything, but selfish to do so. Why? It was critical for the relationship to…

I sit at my computer this morning and all I can think is… What I really want to tell you is that I feel awful. I look awful. That divorce has kicked my butt. Only it’s not really divorce. It’s another human being’s unresolved feelings that have turned this into a catastrophic, emotional war and…

This morning I sit with my computer on my lap and my chocolate lab, Hazel nuzzling next to me on the couch (I know I’m a bad mother – she’s just so cute). Anyway, I knew what I was going to write about today. I typed notes into my phone last night at midnight. Only…

It is late. I fidget as I try to fall asleep..picking up my phone here and there. This is my new routine. This is what the stress of divorce has done to my nights. A text pops up. I read it and tell myself not to cry. It’s not a bad text. It’s actually a…

I sift through my e-mail. I spot one from my friend “Kiki.” I open it. It reads: “I hope this finds you well, I have been in bed for days…..time to get up….because I can…I am not handicapped, or sick with illness….my heart is broken but everything else works, thank God.” I am the writer,…

There is a simplicity in childhood. The lessons we learn. The rate at which we are able to learn them. How we are able to adapt so quickly. Somehow age complicates us. Only shouldn’t it simplify us? The journey through the heartache and intricacies of divorce left my mind so crowded that I could barely…

The day after I retain my attorney I am singing in the shower. My first thought – oh my gosh, I remember this! I always used to sing in the shower. I had forgotten. I tell my sister. “That’s nice,” she says. “Only it’s going to get so much worse before it gets better.” My…

I drive towards town. The air is colder than the past few days and it suits my morning mood. I fiddle with the radio not able to find a song that I like. I hear the hypnotic voice of Stevie Nicks. She is singing “Landslide” and the car fills with more stillness than it already…

I flop onto my couch, put my computer on my lap and my cold pressed (carrot, cucumber, orange and ginger) juice on the table beside me. I start to watch television much like the rest of us do today, constantly distracted by my laptop. My eyes turn towards the fire fading in my fireplace. The…
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