So this has to be the weirdest announcement of a run for the presidency in history, for both the Democratic and Republican parties combined. Even weirder than Sarah Palin getting a spot on last election’s ticket as VP candidate and weirder than her continued presence on anyone’s political radar.
There is a self-proclaimed VAMPIRE running for a presidential bid! Or trying to. And better still, he’s a REPUBLICAN! Ahhh. Sigh. You gotta love America.
His name is. . .wait for it. . .Jonathon ‘The Impaler’ Sharkey. Now for his bio, from a lovely profile of Mr. Impaler in Religion Dispatches’ “Your Hatred Will Make Me Famous: Making Sense of a Republican Vampire”:
“[I]n 2005 [Sharkey] acquired his public persona as “The Impaler” and created the Vampyres, Witches, and Pagans party. Claiming to be a descendent of Romanian monarch Vlad “Dracula” Tepes, in 2008 Sharkey promised public execution by impalement for terrorists and child molesters, as well as president George W. Bush–a threat that drew the attention of the Secret Service. He also presented himself as a candidate who would defend the religious liberties of groups that have traditionally been persecuted by the Christian right. His platform for 2012 has been expanded to include impaling illegal immigrants and criminalizing abortion. As an ordinary Republican, Sharkey was unnoticeable. But as The Impaler, he quickly became a media spectacle.
I bet he did. Fascinating. And terribly disturbing. I’m just glad he’s claiming the Republican party and not the Democratic.
So look out Sarah Palin! The Impaler is hot on your heels.
Remember all the Buffy v. Edward spinoffs? I can’t wait for the Sarah v. Johnny “The Impaler” cartoons and youtube videos.