Everyone has endured embarrassing moments in their lives, yet somehow we push past them. Sadly, that’s not the case for everyone. Christian comedian John Crist wanted to commit suicide after going to rehab during a sexual harassment scandal that embarrassed him. He also planned to leave comedy permanently. During a recent comedy show, Crist said, “I’ve been through a lot the last two years of my life,” Crist said during a recent comedy show. “I’ve been through a lot of embarrassing things.”

The comedian, who went back and forth from making the audience laugh and talking about the 2019 scandal, admitted there’s a lot of shame surrounding sex and showed where that shame took him. At the time, Crist walked away from comedy, believed he’d never tell jokes again, adding that he wouldn’t wish the situation on his worst enemy. However, the scandal also taught Crist valuable lessons about faith, redemption, and a loving God. Crist said, “The only thing worse is if that had never happened to me.”

Prior to the scandal, Crist said he lived with a constant cloud over his head, saying, “Every time I had like a sold-out show or anything I did on television, I thought that if everybody knew the truth about me that all of these people would hate me.” Crist also noted that he found true grace while trying to overcome his struggles. Crist also talked about going through rehab, saying that he found out there’s a God that loves you, and He cares about you, and He’s not mad at you.

Crist also talked about a moment after he left rehab. He was in a Five Guys restaurant wearing sunglasses and a hood, hoping that no one would recognize him. However, a family called him to their table to talk. Crist was hesitant because he thought they would scold him, but something else happened. Instead, the family told Crist that they loved him, cared about him, and they’d been thinking about him.

The comedian also recalled a touching moment after he left rehab. He found himself wearing a hood and sunglasses inside of a Five Guys restaurant, hoping no one would recognize him. Suddenly, a family called him over to chat. While Crist worried they would scold him, something incredible happened. For Crist, it was the first time that people knew everything about him, and they chose to love him anyway.

Crist has also credited his fans for saving his life, saying, “The people that are out here that bought tickets to my show saved my life in a lot of ways.” Everyone goes through dark times in life, and some people want to commit suicide due to those struggles. However, sometimes it takes the kind words of a stranger to talk you off the ledge. It can also take you to realize that there is a God that loves you despite your struggles. He knows that you aren’t perfect, yet He still wants the best for you, and He gives you the answers to all your problems. Watch Crist’s most recent comedy special below.