February 14^th.  This date will either make us giddy with anticipation or remind individuals that it’s another year of riding solo. But what if you don’t fall into those two camps? What if you are recently out of a relationship and Valentine’s Day is just hanging over your head as a reminder that what you just had, you now don’t. You’re not only mourning the end of relationship, but it feels like this day has come to mock you. It can feel like a slap in the face or a punch in the gut. Here are some tips to get through this day of love if you are freshly out of a relationship.

Get Together with Your Tribe

Your friends probably already know what you’re going through. Having a team of supporters around can be a great distraction, or support if you want to talk about it. Order a pizza, get some drinks, turn on Netflix, buy a box of chocolate and finish the whole thing. Revel in an evening full of the love of friendship, and be reminded that there is something outside of romantic love to live for. You have a whole life full of Valentine Day’s ahead of you.

Ride it Solo

You might still need to be alone and take time to grieve the loss of a relationship. According to Psychotherapist Dr. Robi Ludwig,  The part of the brain devoted to the breakup has thousands of neural circuits devoted to this person, so it takes the brain some time to realize, come to terms with and ultimately recover from the harsh reality that this person is no longer there; hence, the reason why we feel this profound pain. If you need to process your pain, it might be best to spend a night alone. If you need a solo cry to a Nicholas Sparks movie or need to journal things out, devote your evening to activities that help you process your heart ache.

Treat it as a Normal Day

Don’t fall into the commercialization of Valentine’s Day. Some couples see right through this day as a marketing scheme to make millions of Americans spend money they don’t have and stress about unnecessary details. This day is full of unrealistic expectations, for both men and women. Many people just go about this day as normal. If you do too, you’re not alone.

Go Get Active

If being inside all night makes you feel trapped with your thoughts, go get active. A lot of people exercise to process emotions. This is a win-win. You will feel better after you burn a sweat and you are taking care of yourself.  You can get a group of single friends together and make it a fun active hang-out session. This is also a win-win. The group members are not alone on a night that is often a time of feeling lonely. A game of ultimate Frisbee is fun, grab some bikes and hit a trail, or simply go on a walk.

Valentine’s Day will pass. But your heartache and feelings will still take time to process. Try not to get too hung up on a day of love. If you are freshly out of a relationship, only you know what you will need on February 14^th, so make sure you do what you need to take care of your emotional needs.

Written by Savannah Lawson