“Don’t waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind. The race is long and, in the end, it’s only with yourself.” – Mary Schmich

I am in love with my life. I honestly wouldn’t trade shoes with anyone else. I have a vibrant social life. My friends are inspiring, loving and loyal. My family is my rock, and my work is my creative playground. I cannot complain. I have my days though.

For example, last Sunday, an attractive, affectionate engaged couple was sitting two rows ahead of me in church. His arm on the back of her chair; her head on his shoulder… They stole glances and kisses throughout the service, and I sat behind them feeling suddenly very single.

The green-eyed monster is a sneaky little devil.

I had to give myself a good mental talking to on my walk home, because that yucky feeling had to go. Jealousy is an ugly trait that used to stick to me like glue, but these days I want no part of it for good reason.

Envy likes to disguise itself. Resentment, depression, anger, bitterness, and insincerity are just a few of the masks that it likes to wear. So, you end up feeling rotten and acting out, and you don’t even know why. You stare daggers across the gym at the skinny woman on the treadmill. You ostracize a co-worker who got a promotion. Anything you do to deflect the fact that you’re jealous is only making matters worse. You’re just throwing layers of false emotions on top of what’s really going on.

I’ve been making a habit lately of outing envy. I call it out. Instead of hating or throwing a pity party, I say out loud, “I envy that.” It feels awkward, but a strange thing happens when you out envy. It’s got no where to hide, and when it’s out in the open, you can release it.

You can rationally examine the desire. Perhaps it’s a goal or something else that you can work towards. Or tell yourself that whatever you desire may be a matter of waiting and that you need to kick your patience into high gear. And then, you can always look at all the things you do have and begin to practice gratitude for those things.

The point is, when you out envy, you give yourself options. You don’t have to sulk or get bitter. You take control of your emotions.

So, think about it. The next time you feel the green-eyed monster creeping up on you, turn around and shine a light on him. Say the words out loud, “I envy that person because they have _______ (insert object of desire) that I do not have.” Then, see how you can use that desire to bring yourself closer to where you want to be, not where some one else is.

Read More:
5 Ways to Cure Your ‘Facebook Envy’
The Green-Eyed Monster
Quiz: How Envious Are You?