So, we’ve been gabbing a lot about love lately. You are sending me love stories of how you met your Valentines. Spirit Junkie Gabrielle Bernstein shared a meditation for romance. We even got a definition of love from 1 Corinthians 13. And of course, we stopped to watch some baby twins bounce to Johnny Cash (which has nothing to do with love, but it’ll make you feel good).

That’s a lot of love talk, and we haven’t even gotten to Valentine’s Day yet. And I’m pretty sure some of you already sick of it.

Trust me when I say I get it. You’re talking to the girl who used to boycott and generally despise this red-heart-covered, chocolate-laced holiday. Although this year I have someone special in my life, it’s the first time in a very long time. Up until a few months ago, I was the poster girl for singleness – not only a client, but the president of the lonely hearts club. I know how irritating Valentine’s Day can be, because it can dredge up feelings of being lonely and unlucky in love.

There’s so much I could say about how to approach all this Valentine nonsense when you’re without a love interest, but everything I come up with boils down to two words:

There is no love affair as essential as the one you have with yourself. It’s difficult to be in a relationship with anyone else when you can barely feel comfortable in your own skin. Even your spiritual connection with God suffers when you don’t love yourself. Everything you see, sense and feel comes through the filter of what you think about you. When you’re judgmental and critical of yourself, you tend to see everyone else treating you the same way. It’s hard to give love and even harder to receive it.

So, that’s my two cents. Be in love with you. Be your biggest fan. Give yourself grace where you’re flawed and praise when you’re due. It’s amazing how much love you can attract into your life when it’s already on the inside of you shining through.

Christine Arylo knows what I’m talking about. I’ve talked with her about how to fall in love with yourself. In her latest video, she wants you to know you can end the loneliness in love!