Adrian Plass, the book cover says, is a “bemused Anglican.” I can’t imagine any other kind today, except for the fuming sort who toss down their BCP and say, “I’ve had enough.” Anyway, Adrian’s not that second kind, as can be seen in his hilarious new book called Bacon Sandwiches and Salvation: A Humorous Antidote for the Pharisee in All of Us
. (I’ll forgive him for stereotyping Pharisees.)

If you want to have a good time, get this book and begin reading.
In fact, I’d recommend every church have a copy and ask staff and leaders over lunch to read a few entries a day — there’s one for each letter of the alphabet — and everyone will go back to work in a good mood and start spreading mirth.

The book is a bit of a Christian-ese dictionary, like this: “Condomnation: what Roman Catholics are likely to fall under if they use birth control.”

OK, Plass defines this one, but what would your entry be for this or, put differently, why do Christians say this: I sense that we ought to move into prayer over this…?

Here are some more:

Alpha: outreach system that has brought thousands to faith but has left in its wake a small, deeply confused group of people who have mistakenly asked Nicky Gumbel into their lives.

Feelings: negative, unreliable, misleading, and irrelevant in the context of Christian experience, according to many teachers and preachers. And how right they are! One can only express wildly passionate, tearful agreement with this view.

Give God a round of applause!: a suggestion occasionally made by worship leaders to congregations. Not entirely clear how God reacts to being treated like a Friday night performance of The Mousetrap but one supposes that he must get used to these things.

God told me: a spiritual half nelson. Widely used, in particular, by those who have not been told anything by God but wish to influence others.

Healing: (1) something God always does; (2) something God never does; (3) something God sometimes does and sometimes doesn’t do….

Impoliteness: major sin in old-fashioned Anglican circles, almost (but not quite) on a par with sitting in someone else’s pew.