What in the world? A show called Good Christian Bitches is coming to ABC according to this report…

After a fierce bidding war, ABC has acquired a Darren Star-produced series based on the Kim Gatlin novel Good Christian Bitches—but it won’t be called that, of course, even though we would definitely at least DVR it if it were, just to say thanks. The show is described as “Desperate Housewives in Dallas,” which may as well be the title: It’s about an affluent, recently divorced mother of two who relocates to a ritzy Dallas neighborhood and forthwith meets some bitches, who say bitchy things to each other in between doing stereotypical bitch things like bitching out the help and getting Botox on their bitch faces. It’s brought to you by Star, who previously created the teen bitch-fest Beverly Hills, 90210, then wrote bitchy words for the ladies of Sex And The City, and most recently created the bitchy career woman dramedy Cashmere Mafia, which was itself sort of a bitch-ass version of Desperate Housewives. But yeah, don’t expect to see the words “Christian” and “Bitches” within two blocks of each other on Disney-owned ABC, lest it be accused of participating in this ongoing war on Christians. (Though there will be bitching regardless.)

The book that the show is based upon was released in 2008. It’s back-cover copy says this…

Good Christian Bitches is the devilishly fun, yet strikingly honest, tale of Amanda Vaughn, a recently divorced mother of two. To get a fresh start, she moves back to the affluent Dallas neighborhood where she grew up. In an Alfred Hitchcock Presents, Desperate Housewives on steroids style, her old friends are already out to destroy her reputation.

In the whirling midst of salacious gossip, Botox, and fraud, Amanda turns to those who love her and the faith she’s always known. Will the Good Christian Bitches get the best of her, or will everyone see that these GCBs are as counterfeit as their travel jewelry?

AND it features THIS cover…

I guess some things really are bigger in Texas.

Sheesh.