There’s so much to say about 2010; the whos, the whats, the shenanigans
So let’s look back one more time and remember the year in “Dr. Seuss” rhyme
We all felt the earthquake in Porta au Prince, and then dear old Pat Robertson made us all wince
By declaring poor Haiti had made a pact with the devil; how low can Pat go hit a whole nutha level
Or perhaps he expired
Or maybe James knew that even God had grown tired
Of hearing his mix
Of advice/politics
And I guess he decided to find a new shtick…
Now that Dobson was gone and Pat declared crazy, I’m sure some fundies thought their future looked hazy
But up from the depths of “godless” Seattle, AT-PastorMark emerged aching for battle
In a cage against “buds”? (Does he just wear a toga?) Or against the demons of hell who created Avatar and yoga
And though he jams to Jay Z and shouts the word “pissed,” I still think that Mark is “fundamentalist”
When Nashville got flooded, the Church became super; and look who was interviewed by Anderson Cooper
Francis Chan sold more books
Tobymac rapped more hooks
And at Rick’s church on Easter, Jonas Bros. showed off their good looks
Speaking of Rick, he finally found Twitter and took to it just like a cat takes to litter
America’s Pastor tweeted wise and tweeted sweet, but then all hell broke loose over one little Tweet
And THIS MAN no doubt will be single at 80
Jon Acuff released Stuff Christians Like; and @Flowerdust rode across country on bike
Regarding Anne Jackson, we know she’s an author; but please, for God’s sake, don’t call her “a blogger”
Jesus burned to the ground in the Buckeye State and “God’s Judgment” was given a another due date
There was that Florida man with Yosemite Sam’s stache who threatened to turn the Koran into ash
Palin and Gosselin were called ‘Sisters in Christ’; but then who left the “family”? Author Anne Rice!
And like years before, Jesus got spotted, his face and his body imperfectly dotted
On pots and on stumps and pecked into trees, his name frightfully printed on ugly black tees
Jennifer Knapp emerged from the closet, and on Stephen Baldwin’s behalf, a site begged for depo$it$
And speaking of Baldwin, do you remember THIS? One more thing that reformed housewives resist!
Is THIS GUY a wookiee?
And Ed Young filmed THIS while wearing a hoodie
When BP spilled oil
This prophet’s pants became soiled
And social justice made Glenn Beck’s blood start to boil
And in Texas this week Santa was killed (Oh, and atheists beat Christians in a Q&A drill!)
2010 brought the perfect church cheer; it also brought Newt Gingrich’s movie of fear!
Rachel Held Evans wrote about monkeys, and for the sake of Jesus, some Christians got funky
David Platt got Radical
And some of the Jesus Junk we made was really quite tragical
Jason Boyett wrote about doubt
And Oral Roberts’ grandson came out
Some things that happened we don’t know what they were about
And for better and worse, I think you’ll agree; when things go south I thank God there’s plan B (or Plan B?)
But here’s what I know, it’s easy to poke fun; but changing the tide is easier said then done
All of us are capable of bringing hell or bringing heaven; so here’s to hoping for peaceful 2011
What slice of 2010’s Christian culture will YOU remember the most?!
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