The secret to getting hot like Jesus is in these diet pills.

Why wait until Heaven to have Jesus Body when you can fly to Japan and buy these pills and have Jesus Body now?

I’ve always heard that first century Jews were hot, especially the ones with British accents. A British accent makes anything hotter–well, except Ringo.

So what’s Jesus Body all about? Well, according to the packaging’s ad copy, this…

• New Discovery to be kept secret from others. (Awesome! I hope it tastes like saccharin. Can I be your lab rat?)

• This discovery is a secret. (You said that already.)

• I can lay it down because I am correct. (Lay what down? I’m confused.)

• We will not make you sorry. (Should I be sorry? Did I offend you? I’m sorry if I did.)

• Pleasure to have the real thing. (Wait. Are you coming on to me?)

• I really longed for this. (Aw, me too. I like you. Give me. Jesus Body. Now!)

Jesus Body found in Japan! is a post from: Jesus Needs New PR