Remember this interview? You know, the one I did with the man behind the Christian Nightmares blog? Remember how there was supposed to be follow-up questions from Jesus Needs New PR readers? Well, both Christian Nightmares (CN) and I sort of forgot to do that. And both of us are very sorry for the six month delay.

But today, just in time for Halloween, Christian Nightmares responds to some of your most thought-provoking questions…

Enjoy!

Chris Ward: Do you think that the videos that are posted to Christian Nightmares could also be hurtful to your younger selves? When I divorced my wife a few years back, my parents flipped out stating that I was disobeying god’s law. What I found great comfort in was posting videos from Christian Nightmares on my Facebook page. My parents told me that they thought it was inappropriate for me to do so—as it’s my responsibility not to shame the family’s name. However, now that I’ve gone through some extensive therapy, I’ve realized that I can’t watch Christian Nightmares as much—its just too painful. For instance, watching the video of the Tea-Baggers yelling at the Muslims was too much for me. I realized that my own family is hurling those words at me! I’ve come to realize that because I’m not a Christian, and I’m liberal and I support abortion and gay rights, that I’m now the other in these videos, and it’s too much.

CN: I think if I had found something like Christian Nightmares when I was a kid, it would have been comforting, in the same way that a lot of bands (punk rock especially), authors, independent thinkers, and artists that challenged the status quo were to me at the time—they made me feel validated, and less alone. And even though I too feel like the “other,” looking at all the stuff I have to look at in order to do Christian Nightmares isn’t too painful for me, because I always felt like the “other” in that world. I guess I’m just used to it.

FDR: Have you ever really studied Christianity? I mean this in a serious way, not trying to be sarcastic at all. Sounds like you have dropped the belief in God based on your church experience, which seems to be from an old school fundamentalist background.  If you have studied Christianity, what is it about Christianity you don’t believe in and why?

CN: Yes, I have studied Christianity. In fact, I’ve read the entire Bible more than once, and many of its books several times. I think Christian Nightmares offers numerous examples of what I don’t believe, and it would take me several days and too many pages to list everything here. But, for starters: I don’t believe that an omnipotent being created the world in seven days. I don’t believe that Satan took the form of a serpent and tempted Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. I don’t believe that the Tower of Babel existed (and that that is why we have so many different languages in the world) and I don’t believe that Noah herded every animal in existence into an ark while God flooded the entire earth. I don’t believe that Jesus was the son of God, and I don’t believe that he was raised from the dead and ascended into Heaven. I don’t believe in the Rapture or the Antichrist or the Battle of Armageddon. I don’t believe that anyone is going to someday walk on streets of gold and live in a mansion up in the sky.

KB: If life is a quest, the moment a person, Christian Nightmares included, ends the search for fulfillment and meaning, it will likely only be by accident, coincidence or maybe even providence that he/she will ever be truly happy. So, I would like to know, is Christian Nightmares finished searching? Also, it seemed to me in the interview that as CN described the god he/she learned about as a child, he/she got angrier. What if Christian Nightmares discovered that that God was an imposter, would he/she be willing to reconsider a relationship with the real one?

CN: With all due respect, I don’t agree with your statement. I don’t believe that the God I learned about as a child was an imposter, because I don’t believe any gods exist. So in other words, I’m not searching for God. I do agree that life is a quest, but I can’t imagine a point in my life where I’d ever stop searching for greater fulfillment and meaning—I think that’s just human nature. But that’s not to say that my life doesn’t have meaning and fulfillment, there are many things that I find meaningful and fulfilling. I also don’t believe that anyone ever arrives at a point of complete, sustainable contentment and bliss. Are some people happier and more fulfilled than others? Of course. But there are a lot of variables involved. I think most of us catch moments of happiness and contentment, and trying to make the most of them is the best we can do. But then again, I’m a guy who wears a mask and blogs for hours a day about fanatical Christians, so what do I know.

Steve Thrush: Thanks for this….this conversation is so fricken’ real. Not always comfortable, but real. I ache for others who get lost in all of the crap too. One of the thoughts you’ve helped me articulate goes something like this: “Following Jesus is God’s design. Being a Christian is something that often looks very different.” Would you ask Christian Nightmares how he feels about following Jesus…what we know of what He said and did. Could he…..would he…does he…..ever consider that…even if he doesn’t believe in….um…..all the crap religion that surrounds God? Just something I wrestle with almost every day thanks.

CN: There are many things that I admire and respect about Jesus, he was a great example in many ways. He was a radical, ahead of his time, against corruption and hate, and he tried to promote love—I’m down with all of that. But there have been many people throughout history that have stood for the same things, and I try to draw inspiration from many of them.

Cindy C.: If Christian Nightmares feels so strongly about this, and so willing to make a statement against something, I find it strange that he would hide behind anonymity. I understand he says he does not want to hurt his family, but I tend to think he is hurting what they believe already by what he posts, so this is just something he says so he doesn’t make himself feel bad (which may be the guilt he learned while he was growing up). I think if someone chooses to take such a strong stance for or against anything, using anonymity to do it is an easy cop-out that helps you to shirk responsibility for your words or actions. It takes a lot of integrity to own up to what you think. I think Christian Nightmares’ anonymity is no different than the KKK hiding beneath a sheet, or anti-abortion protesters hiding behind signs or masks—just that the disguise is the Internet. REALLY, if you feel so strongly and want to make a change, why the anonymity? What are you really afraid of?

CN: Cindy, with all due respect, your question is pretty obnoxious and absurd (“no different than the KKK”?). But I’ll answer it anyway. The main reason I choose to be anonymous still has to do with my desire to protect my family and friends who are still involved with the church. And I think there’s a big difference between criticizing corrupt elements of an institution (or the people that represent it, or highlighting the fallout of their abusive actions) and willfully trying to hurt individual partakers. If I were to lose my anonymity, it would be very unfortunate, many people would be hurt, and Thanksgiving dinner would never be the same. But I’d still continue to do what I do. Aside from that, because I spend so much time examining the fringe elements of Christianity, I don’t also want to be “that guy” who is expected to talk about this stuff all the time in my personal life. The blog’s enough for me. Also, there are some loose cannons out there, and I’d rather they not know what I look like or where I live.

Tapper: CN, Do you see any shift in the fundamentalist church in the last 20-40 years (since your childhood)? And if you have seen movement, is it for the better or worse, based on your childhood memories? In other words, has what you experienced undergone any fundamental changes that we can see today, compared to the 50′s 60′s or even 70′s?

CN: Unfortunately, I haven’t seen much change over the years. There is still a lot of anger, intolerance, hatred, and fear of the “other” (everyone who doesn’t believe or think the same way that many fundamentalist Christians do). Guilt, scare-tactics, and manipulation still seem to be the preferred methods of conversion for many evangelicals. And there still seems to be little (or no) room for critical thinking. But I think blogs like this one (Jesus Needs New PR) are an example of some progress—places where believers and non-believers alike can have thoughtful, intelligent, civil discussions about Christianity—I hope to see more of them.

Brian: What is the most memorable clip you’ve posted since you began the site?

CN: The most memorable one is still the first clip I posted on Christian Nightmares. Seeing Merill Womach at a young age was life-changing—and not for the better. Although I felt compassion for what he had gone through (he survived a plane crash but was severely burned and permanently disfigured), it was terrifying, confusing, and depressing as hell. There also seemed to be a subtext (common in many fundamentalist sermons) of, “If this guy could go through what he went through and still praise Jesus, what’s your excuse?” I couldn’t articulate it at the time, but it just felt manipulative and wrong. There also seemed to be an element of gawking amongst the people that attended his performance that just seemed exploitive and creepy. I left feeling simultaneously traumatized and ashamed of myself.

Green Eggs and Ham: I have a question and not just a rant. How do you keep looking for this stuff? I watch some of it on yours, this and other sites and it sets me off. Some of my reactions are PTSD-like; some are anger; some are weariness; and some are sorrow. I can only take it in very small doses. (Chick tracts still scare the h*ll out of me. Long story; I’ll tell it some day.) Kudos for your site and your work in telling the truth that sets us free.

CN: Thanks, and good question. When I started the blog, looking at this stuff was really cathartic—re-appropriating all these things was somehow empowering or therapeutic or something. But lately, the scale seems to have tipped, and diving into all this negativity on a daily basis has become incredibly draining—it’s starting to feel like I’m reliving things that I hated/were painful enough the first time around, and it’s taking a toll. I do find encouragement from emails I get from people who say the blog is helping them work through stuff, too. I’ve also made a vow to myself to continue doing Christian Nightmares through the 2012 elections—without it, I might implode, or constantly scream at newspaper articles, or smash my TV. But after that, I’m going to have to figure out if or how I can move forward with the blog, whether or not it can evolve.

JLL: So I’d like to ask CN, is there anything about Christian culture or “the church” that he still enjoys? Anything he experienced or remembers that doesn’t leave such a sour taste?

CN: I always loved singing in church. It offered rare opportunities to (almost) get completely out of my head. It also gave me a greater appreciation of music, and in some ways helped me as a musician. There were also some people in my church that enjoyed having passionate—and civil—discussions about God, religion, and faith. We didn’t always agree, but the conversations were often rigorous and challenging—there was energy there. I enjoyed those.

Noelle: Who were the first atheists you met as a youngster? What was your impression of them and what did they think of you? Are any still friends? Do you keep in touch with old Christian friends? You can stay anonymous and not say if you have kids, but if you rhetorically do (or will in the future) how will you teach them about their grandparents’ religion and all the beliefs of their peers? Will you do secular versions of religious holidays?  Do your Jewish, Hindu, Muslim, etc friends understand your site? Did you get to go to Christian summer camp as a kid? Did you fail the swimming test and have to stay in the shallow end of the lake? Were you awesome at 4 square? Did you dread the campfire thing where the counselors guilt you into giving a testimonial, even though 11 yr olds aren’t cognitively able to do that? Favorite girl scout cookie?

CN: Wow, this question is jam-packed! The first atheist I ever met was a friend of my father’s who was a physicist. He was very accomplished, and even recognized by Einstein for a book he had written. He was also a master pianist and worked with underprivileged kids. He also used to subtly (but respectfully) rib my mother about her believes, which I really enjoyed. I was very impressed by him. I do still keep in touch with some of my Christian friends. Most of them know not to “go there” with me at this point, but some of them choose to anyway, which is usually fine. I did get together with one of my Christian friends recently, though, who was very fired up about what he believes to be the soon-approaching end times. An exact quote was, “Oh, there’s going to be a showdown.” I did my best to respectfully disagree, then I asked for the check. He and I will most likely never be as close as we once were, but I still consider him a friend (he’s my oldest) and would do anything for him. Most of my other non-Christian friends know about the blog and seem to appreciate it. If I ever have kids, I’ll frankly tell them what their grandparent’s believe, and I’ll tell them what other people believe as well, and then let them decide for themselves. If they want to go to any church, I’ll take them, and then we’ll talk about it afterwards. I clocked in a lot of hours at Christian summer camp as a kid. I always passed the swimming test and was pretty skilled at 4 Square. I did dread the campfire services, but always managed to give a fairly convincing testimony. I enjoy the thin mint Girl Scout cookies.

Stuart B.: Christian Nightmare – you say you have no interest in going back to a church ever again; understood. But if you had the opportunity to remake, change, or in general reform the American Christian Church, in what shape would you make it, what would be different, what would it look like, etc, and why? How would you transform the church of your childhood into the church you wished it would have been?

CN: I wouldn’t want to remake the church. If I could go back in time and change things, I’d want to spend my Sundays exploring the world with my family and having intelligent discussions about all the things I had questions about, rather than passively sitting in a pew being subjected to the preaching of a narrow worldview. I’d also skip the energy-zapping post-church pot roast dinners—picnics would have been nice.

Visit Christian Nightmares’ blog here.

In other news, Christian Nightmares once again landed on Church Relevance’s list of the Top 200 Church Blogs….

THE long-awaited follow-up interview with Christian Nightmares: YOUR questions, Christian Nightmares’ answers is a post from: Jesus Needs New PR