Every parent knows one of the simple truths of life is that there is no privacy. That is especially true in the bathroom. “What ‘cha doin Daddy???” is heard moments before the bathroom door is flung open and a little one stands before you going, “Oh, Daddy is going potty!” “Hey Mommy, Daddy is going potty!”
Now the dog is in on it. Here is the dog:

It started innocuously enough. Sam, the newfie, likes sleeping on the cold floor of our master bath. She also likes sleeping in the snow. One morning I sleepily sat on the white throne and Sam stood up and sat before me, head slightly cocked to one side, big eyes looking at me. I told her she was a wonderful dog and I loved her very much and I gave her a quick scratch under the chin.
At that her left foot started thumping. Oh no. I stopped. She moved a bit closer. I scratched again and the foot started thumping madly. Keep in mind that when the dog is 115 pounds or so a thumping left foot is loud. Kim came running upstairs to see if I was ok. I tried to explain through closed bathroom door that yes, I was fine, Sam was just thumping.
Now I cannot escape Sam. Whenever she thinks I am going to do to the place where I sit down on the white thing she comes and sits before me and waits for me to scratch under her chin. She thinks there is no other reason why I sit on that white thing.
Maybe she’s right.