On Sunday I watched the NYC Marathon on TV. The route goes near where I live and I enjoy watching the runners going up First Avenue where I often walk. I found some valuable lessons in the behavior of the runners.

Lesson #1: Pace yourself so you finish smarter. When running in a marathon, you need to stay focused on your pace to not burn out before the finish line. Some runners immediately get out ahead of the main pack of runners. You can see the glee on their faces to know that everyone sees them in the lead. Some make fewer detours to the water stations to keep that lead. But, in most cases, the person who runs ahead in the beginning doesn’t win the race and the one who skips water loses steam early. Smart runners let one person set the pace and stick close in the group, saving energy for the sprints closer to the end.

It’s the same in life. It’s important to think before acting.

Making moves to get attention doesn’t necessarily get you what you want in the long run. Bragging may momentarily make people listen but it can turn them off too. Not setting goals for yourself can leave you unprepared for what steps you should take and when. That said, you need to be prepared to alter your moves if something unexpected happens. When Meb Keflezighi took the lead ahead of Robert Kipkoech Cheruiyot, he passed the water station but chose not to drink at that point. Instead, he carried it until Cheruiyot, who he’d just passed, slowed down a touch. Then he got hydrated. That helped him to keep the lead and win the race.

Lesson #2: Don’t lose your sense of caring for others in your attempt to win. In your quest to succeed, don’t forget to be considerate of others when possible. Paula Radcliffe was the favorite by far to win the women’s race. She’s won 4 NYC races and is idolized by many of the racers. There was an air of respect for her among them.But you could see she was struggling. She stayed in front for many miles since the other women knew what she’s capable of and didn’t want to pass her early on. But then she began to drop back.

As they rounded the turn onto First Avenue, Derartu Tulu of Ethiopia must have noticed Radcliffe struggling. I’m sure Tulu wanted to win. Seconds can count in marathons. Yet she pulled alongside of Radcliffe and seemed to ask if she was okay and gave her an encouraging look as the other women just pushed to take the lead. I was very touched by that show of concern. I’m sure many would think it was a waste of time she should have used to focus on her run. I sat there rooting for her.

With it all, Tulu came in first. And in the midst of her victory, she went to give Radcliffe a hug when she limped across the finish line. That’s the kind of winner we should strive to be!

Helping co-workers sends out positive energy. Looking at them as competition you need to beat doesn’t. You’ve heard that winning isn’t everything and it’s true! In my book, Tulu won when she displayed humanity during the race. Years ago, I was at a conference and met someone who’d written a book on the same topic as one I’d written that had just come out. I introduced myself with an outstretched hand to a fellow writer. He glared at me and practically barked, “You’re my competition.”

We’re all human beings and a nasty attitude toward colleagues will not serve you well.

I just told this guy that there was room for both of our books and I’d be happy to support him if I could. He continued snarling at me. My books continue to sell well while he hasn’t had a new one in years. A bad attitude toward others can shoot you in your own foot. It attracts more bad energy. Tulu on the other hand, won the race despite taking time to show compassion.

Lesson #3: Don’t listen to what other people expect, or don’t expect of you. For many miles, the 2 runners from Kenya were in front of the men’s pack. US runner Meb Keflezighi was fourth. The commentators discussed how it could be first and second place for Kenya. Keflezighi had almost quit running not that long ago after an injury. Some said he was too old. He’d never won a NYC marathon. They hoped he could at least get third place. There were many American men in the top 10 and Keflezighi wasn’t their first choice to have a chance to win.

If you believe the hype, you can sabotage your chance to win from the starting line.

Keflezighi didn’t. He got into the zone and kept running smart, like a winner. This guy and his family exemplify the American dream. His father worked hard to bring his family here from the African nation of Eritrea. All 11 children have done well. Keflezighi is a proud American and wore his shirt that said USA with pride. You could see the determination in his face. As they discussed how Cheruiyot, had the ability to pass Keflezighi, he increased his lead.

Despite all the other picks for the winner, Keflezighi won, with a big lead!

Have you been told that you can’t do something and let that affect your willingness to try anyway? There are many naysayers waiting to sink your boat if you let them. Opinions don’t hold you back. YOU hold you back if you believe the opinions and stop expecting to win because of them. Some of us are still held back by limits given as kids. People tell me they can’t do something because they’re too old, not thin enough, not smart enough, etc.

When someone tells me I can’t, it motivates me to prove them wrong.

It’s hard enough to win without being burdened by what others think. If Meb Keflezighi had listened to the doubt about his winning, he may not have had his full focus on winning. But he knew it was possible and went for it. It was felt that Derartu Tulu was too old to win at 37. But she did! People buck the system and ignore what others say all the time. I do! And I win when I do. So the next time you’re trying to succeed at something, block out doubts with “I can do anything I choose to do!”

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