I’ve been posting in my Giving Back series to alert you to the importance of paying forward for your blessings. DoorMats give to gain approval. Being liked is most important to them so they give to get approval and to delude themselves that people stick around for their company, when often it’s for the favors and to be with someone who always defers to what others want.

Kindness with an ulterior motive isn’t kind. Doing something to brighten a person’s day is!

One simple thing that picks a big punch is speaking to others with kindness. While NYC isn’t known for its friendly people, I’m friendly and try to say nice things to others when I can. When friends walk down my block with me or ride my elevator, they’re astonished to see how many people know me and say hello. I’ve been asked many times where I’m from, since people can’t believe that I’m from NYC. But I am.

And all I do is say kind things to people.

When someone gets off the elevator before me, I always say, “have a good one!” If I haven’t seen a store clerk in a while and there he is, I’ll say a version of, “Good to see you. It’s been a while.” If someone looks good I tell them. I hold doors for people and when they say thanks I say I’m happy to do it. I’ve even written letters to people in customer service for products I like to tell them how much I like it. And if someone thanks me for doing something, I usually say, “It’s my pleasure.”

It is my pleasure to offer kind words to people. I appreciate getting them so I give them freely too and am happy to brighten someone’s day by saying something nice. How do you feel when you get a friendly hello, or someone tells says you did a good job, or that you look good or that it’s good to see you? It feels good. Why not do that for someone else?

Kind words don’t cost anything but they go far for the people receiving them. And, it feels good to say nice things.

Kind words can put YOU in a good mood. So it’s a gift to others AND to you, since it gets you focusing on what’s positive instead of thinking about what’s wrong or complaining to friends. It also attracts more kind words back to you. Being someone who says kind things to others makes you a co-worker that people like working with, a friend people like being with, and in general, a person people like to see.

Years ago I stopped at a place each morning to pick up coffee. One week I didn’t go to work. The following week the elderly man behind the counter asked with concern if I was okay. He was worried when I didn’t come all week. I didn’t know this man except to order and pay for my coffee. Yet he said he missed me. When I looked surprised to hear that, he explained that he looked forward to me coming in since I always had a kind word for him and the others who worked there. He said I brightened his day. That emphasized for me the importance of saying nice things to people as much as I could.

Mother Teresa said, “Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.”

If you tell someone he or she looks good, it can enhance their confidence for the whole day. The warm feelings from a compliments or a comment that shows you care can keep a person smiling for hours. Be generous with kind words for others. This doesn’t mean making things up to score point. But if you feel it, say it! You’ll feel good as you make them feel good–a two-for-one benefit!

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