In an earlier post, Rhonda J asked. “What if those (individuals) in one’s life just can’t/won’t relinquish their ‘position of power’, over the DoorMat?” The short answer is Take Responsibility! No one can make you do what you don’t want to do. Period! If someone has control over your life, you’re not stuck because they won’t relinquish it. You’re stuck because you allow them to control you.

You can stop people from doing what you don’t like by not allowing it.

Victims complain about the terrible way people treat them and accept the bad behavior as part of life. Nice People on Top don’t. When I was a DoorMat I played the victim role to the hilt and asked the same kind of questions that clients now ask me. “Why do people take advantage of me?” “Why does he keep doing what he knows hurts me?” “How can people take so much from me but are never there when I need them?” ANSWER: Because you let them!!!!  Yes, YOU let the person take advantage of you.

YOU allow people to have a position of power over you. YOU and only YOU can stop it!

If you stop doing what the power person wants, they lose their power over you. I know it’s not as simple as that. It was hard for me to let go of people I thought I needed. You might feel you need the person if you live with them or it’s your boss or someone important to you. But the bottom line is, giving them power over your life is YOUR CHOICE, not your sentence. YOU put yourself into a prison of being a victim. And YOU are the only one with the key to let you out. Setting boundaries is a very loving thing you can do for you!

“No more!” That should be your attitude toward behavior you don’t like. “No more!” Say it in words or with you attitude or by taking action.

I address setting boundaries in many of my posts and you can read them by checking the archives. But the first thing you must do it accept that NO ONE has power over you if you don’t let them. It’s YOUR choice. You don’t have to make a big break once you decide to do something about it. Take teeny baby steps to not go along with everything they want and be as loving to yourself as you can be. Treat yourself as a special person.

Slowly, you can take your power back. The more self-love you build, the more you’ll want to protect yourself. The more you protect yourself, the more love you’ll feel. It’s a synergy that leads to shedding your DoorMat skin and living a life filled with joy–that YOU control.

Please leave comments under my posts so we can stay connected.