What do you do when something bothers you? Complain? Wish for change? Get into a bad mood? Or do you take action to change what feels bad? It’s more common to respond to things that don’t feel good to us or are downright uncomfortable by doing everything but taking action, which can seem even more uncomfortable than tolerating a bad situation.

When you’re not happy and don’t love yourself, it can seem better to seek the “easier way” to respond–inaction about addressing what’s wrong.

When I was a DoorMat, did everything but speak up or take action. Waiting for the wish fairy to reply with an easy answer, I continued to be unhappy and think the world was against me because I wasn’t thin enough. I was the queen of complainers–no, actually the whiners! Whine, whine, whine. DoorMats are good at this.

•    “People I always help never help me.”
•    “He tells me I have to stay because I’m nothing without him and makes me feel so inadequate.”
•    “She insults everything I do.”

I’d complain to everyone but the source of my unhappiness. Doing so seemed like such an uncomfortable situation. I preferred status quo, which meant shutting my mouth and tolerating what I didn’t like. Many factors can motivate us to tolerate discomfort rather than risk it getting a lot worse, which is often the case for it to get much better. The process can be uncomfortable or even painful. So we ignore or deny or make excuses for what bothers us and get used to the discomfort of what we know.

We often need to get VERY uncomfortable to make the changes or do the necessary steps to feel not just less uncomfortable, but good!

Have you ignored discomfort in your body or a mild toothache to avoid dealing with a bigger problem or the discomfort of having a dentist work on your tooth? I sure have. You can get used to that mild tummy ache or eat on the side of your mouth that isn’t sore. Eventually the problem can blow up into so much pain that you have no choice but to seek medical help. By then, your condition has escalated and treatment is more complicated or uncomfortable than it would have been if you’d gone when you first felt discomfort.

Ignoring discomfort gives it time to grow.

While ignoring discomfort can seem easier in the short run, you help yourself much more by putting yourself into very uncomfortable situations for a short time so you can eventually make all discomfort go away. Addressing a problem when it first manifests can nip it in the bud instead of escalating as you cope instead of taking action.

People Pleasers avoid speaking up or setting boundaries at all costs. The more people get used to getting what they want from you, the harder it is to change their expectations.

If someone takes advantage of you or says something hurtful, it feels uncomfortable. Make yourself even more uncomfortable by speaking up or setting a boundary immediately. I know how uncomfortable that can seem when you consider it. Often the discomfort is greater in your perception of how it might feel than it is actually taking action. You may get very uncomfortable for a short time when you speak up or change your response. But in the long run, you’ll eliminate a lot of discomfort from your life by doing what’s necessary to stop bad behavior.

Please leave comments under my posts so we can stay connected.