Often situations that trigger anger, disappointment, frustration, sadness, etc., make us stew. People pleasers tend to do it in silence, mulling it over and over as the feelings get more intense, or go the other way and complain to any nearby ear. I did that years ago. When someone did me wrong it took over my thoughts, which created stress and other feelings in my body, which made me feel worse. Then I blamed on whatever happened—making it a vicious cycle: I felt angry, then I felt worse. The worse I felt the more angry I got.

If you don’t short circuit those cycles you can make yourself ill and, it certainly keeps happiness and other good feelings away. I know how hard it can be when someone does you wrong. I was a master complainer and stewed deeply. It didn’t feel good but I didn’t know what else to do. Now that I’ve found techniques to offset going into gripe mode, negative occurrences don’t feel nearly as bad as they used to. Here are some things to try:

•    Vent to one or two trusted people. Talk it out with JUST one or two people so you get validation for your feelings. Often you just need to know you have good reason to feel as you do. Then stifle any urges to complain indefinitely.

•    Allow yourself a good scream at home if it makes you feel better. Or punch a pillow to get some strong rage out.  Sometimes a good private vent can be very therapeutic.

•    Write all your feelings on paper as if you were writing a letter about it. Get all the details: why you have he feelings how it affected you, how it left you feeling, etc. Read it aloud a few times with emotion. Then burn it and let your emotions leave with the smoke.

•    Forgive anyone who was responsible. It can be a person, a company that did you wrong, or you may be blaming yourself. Forgive in your heart. You don’t have to directly communicate with anyone. This is for you, not other people! It’s especially important to forgive yourself. We often beat ourselves up for mistakes that create negative emotions. Forgive yourself for being human and move on. Light a candle to signify it.

Life is so much better when you have emotions under control. Otherwise they control your ability to be happy, usually keeping you from enjoying like. Next time something happens that begins to set you on a negative track, short circuit the emotions fast. Then you can move on and deal with the situation better and feel better.
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